What do you post after something like this?
What can I say? What can I describe? What words can capture all the feelings that come with bringing a baby into this world?
I am speechless, yet full of thoughts and things I must share, save, savor.
He is perfect. Grant is perfect. The way his little lips quiver when he cries. His chunky thighs. His perfect fingernails. The adorable gurgles and cries. He is perfection.
Five days ago I was pregnant. Six days ago I was at school being evaluated by Dr. Bonds. Six days ago, I thought I had three weeks. Three long weeks. Then he came suddenly and suddenly everything is so different.
I have two children. Two sons. I am the mother of two very different boys. I am not going to lie. It's been hard with mason. He is doing great and is so in love with his brother, but it's hard for me because he is suddenly so big, so grown up. His hands are so big. Suddenly, he seems so much older. He is definitely not my little baby anymore. I feel like he has grown up so much in the last few days. It makes me sad. It makes me realize that Grant will grow up so quickly, too...
It's weird not being at school. It's great, but weird. I feel...guilty. But I am trying really hard not to feel that way. I shouldn't. I deserve this time off. But it's weird.
I forgot how many diapers you use.
I forgot how tender and sore my, well, you know, get. I almost cry every time he starts nursing. But then within seconds I just hold him in my arms and adore his sweet precious face and beautiful noises and the pain is forgotten.
He is so snuggly at night. He just curls up next to me and breathes so softly. He has laid in his crib for maybe five minutes his whole life. I keep telling myself that tonight is the night he will sleep in his room, but he is just so sweet and cuddly. There is plenty of time for his own bed...
I forgot how fun it is to dress them.
I am in love with my Grant. Troy is in love too. He comes home for lunch and no matter what Grant is doing, he picks him up and snuggles with him. The other day they slept together on the couch and both looked so perfect.
I have to stop here. I have so much more I want to say, but I can't put it into words.
And grant is stirring.
5 comments:
I love how easily your thoughts flow. How very precious. I get to come over on Monday. I signed up to bring you some food. I can't wait to get to meet the little fellow.
Don't feel guilty. Their is no need, and besides guilt won't make anything easier.
By the way. Really. You look awesome. Some girls have it. I guess your one of them.
J~
I am so happy for you and your family. Grant is absolutely precious. Don't feel guilty about school. You put in a lot of work before hand to make it easier on others during your leave. Savor this time. Soak it up. Enjoy the new addition to your family and all the differences it makes!
Love,
ree
You're so right about how big an older sibling suddenly is once a new baby comes. I remember the morning I went into labor with Julia. I laid in John David's bed with him just crying my eyes out because I felt like I was going to lose my baby boy. It was so hard even though it was a wonderful time. Sure enough, he was huge and all grown up when he became the big brother, but it sure was sweet.
It's amazing how much Grant already looks like you guys. So cuddly looking. I can't wait until I get to do that again. =)
Oh, by the way, was he born addicted to Dr. Pepper? You haven't had to put it in his bottle, have you? =)
No Dr. Pepper addiction, but I think the brownie batter might have bumped him over the 8 pound mark!
:)
He is gorgeous and is mommy! Mason even looks bigger in the pictures! He is going to be the best big brother in the world!
I'll get to see him Saturday again when I bring you supper!
What do you want?
Post a Comment