I should audition.

For a role in a nyquil commercial. I look exactly like one of those sad sniffling, dreary-eyed, mismatched pajama clad people they always use.

I feel terrible.

Feverish. Achey. Sneezy. Coughy. ugh.

I want to go to sleep and wake up when Jenny is back.

I've watched 9, yes, 9 episodes of America's next top model today. I couldn't find the energy or interest to channel switch all day while Grant climbed all over my aching body. So that's what I watched. I now hate tyra banks. And proactive. and nutrisystem.

ugh. I feel terrible.

check!

one new year's resolution down - Grant wore shoes today. :)

I want to be just like you...

there is no title perfect enough.

I considered titling this post:
the best way to create dust
OR
how to terrify your child
OR
Warning: Read fire extinguisher instructions PRIOR to creation of out-of-control fire
OR
what NOT to do with leftover pizza boxes
OR
the dangers behind using your oven and why you should it avoid its use.
OR simply
Thank you Jesus.

But i couldn't choose one, so you just go with what you think is best...

So, i was going to make Corn Dogs for dinner. You'd think that'd be harmless enough. But then, it is ME we're talking about here... I turn on the oven, dump 8 hill country fare corn dogs onto a cookie sheet and resume working on my computer. About five minutes later....
"Mom, i think maybe you're burning the corndogs..."Mason shouts from the living room.
"No," I begin. "The corndogs aren't even in the...." And then I realized i didn't check inside the oven before turning it on.

Pause story here to clarify key point: Leftover Pizza is stored in our oven. We are still alive and have not caught salmonella or whatever from bad pizza after MANY many years of this storage system. Judge if you must.

I hurry towards the kitchen and see smoke flowing slowly from the oven. Since our oven is from like 1962 and has no window, I knew not what was waiting for me on the other side of that door. I opened the oven. Big flames jumped out at me and smoke came billowing out in a force I have never witnessed.

I slammed the oven door shut and began to panic. I'd really like to say that I remained calm and level headed but that just didn't happen. I yelled for Mason to "stay back!" and"go get my cell phone!" and " get Grant!" all in one breath. Needless to say, seeing mom running around frantically barking out fragmented orders sent Mason into, well, truth-be-told, much calmer tears than his mother.

I truly didn't know what to do! The flames were worse the second time I opened the oven door despite my hope that lack of oxygen might have diminished it. Our oven is gas...what does that mean? Can it explode? My mind raced. The smoke was filling the house and my eyes were watering and burning and pretty soon breathing was painful. It was so scary! Yelling at Mason to keep Grant and him as far away as possible, which they already were, I grabbed the Fire Extinguisher from the laundry room.

I swung the oven door open and aimed the extinguisher. Smoke now billowed out as the pizza box continued to flame. I tried spraying and nothing would happen. I quickly glanced at the instructions, pulled the pin I then remembered existed and unleashed white powdery smoke every where. The flames subdued.

The fire now somewhat under control I ran the boys to the front porch and swallowed in some clean air. Then went back in to make sure the fire was out. It wasn't. Flames still danced and smoke still puffed out of the oven. I unleashed more of the fire extinguisher's fury and was standing there coughing when troy came in.

It is only in this precise moment while typing this that I wonder what he must have thought in this moment - seeing his wife aiming a fire extinguisher at a smoking pizza box. The house full of vision impairing smoke. And 8 still frozen corn dogs sitting on the counter, now coated in a thin smokey powder. The poor man...

Anyway, he quickly took over, kicked me outside and transferred the smoking pizza box to the fireplace. And then he came out for fresh air.

We conversed. It wasn't unpleasant, but...disappointed. Let's just say he was a wee bit disappointed about me forgetting the pizza box storage system. But very thankful we were all okay.

Troy and I went back in, opened up all the windows, turned on all the fans, and then left to go have dinner where someone else could turn on their oven.

When we returned, man. What a mess. Fire extinguishers do get the flames out, but man alive. There was dust everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Troy swept. He vacuumed. I swept. I swiffered. I wet swiffered. And I mopped. And again. My floor still looks mucky. Yes, that's a word. And i dusted and wiped down counters and walls a few times. And the smell will never leave. I fear we will always smell as though we have just returned from a three week camping trip.

So...pick your moral to the story:
Don't store leftover pizza in the oven. Especially not on the very very bottom rack.
Really know how to work a fire extinguisher.
Give up oven usage. (my personal favorite)
uh...don't panic.

Now, in hindsight, I realize that a flaming pizza box in actuality probably could not bring my house to the ground. It probably wouldn't have caused a gas explosion. And i might have over reacted just a bit, but, geez, fire and smoke is down right scary stuff. Especially when it's somewhere it's totally not supposed to be. Scary scary stuff...

On a plus side, Mason explained in great detail everything, every. little. itty. bitty. detail, of fire safety at our post-fire dinner. I think i'm better prepared for next time...and I know he is...

Historic.

Today was historic indeed. And since Marme and Seph have already put into far more eloquent words than I ever could of the hope we have in God's power and wisdom during these uncertain times, I want to focus on what happened today.

I am not a history buff. Lover, yes. Expert, no. I do not know the intricacies of American Politics. I couldn't tell you Obama's stance on a number of issues, nor could I have told you where Bush even stood on every political issue. I do not claim to be the most knowledgeable US citizen of its history, traditions or political entanglements. But I do know something.

Despite the uncertainty, despite how we may feel about Obama, despite what we may see on our less than unbiased news channels, today America, and the idea of democracy may have been seen at its finest.

It's not that our new president is of African American descent and that 50 years ago his daughters couldn't have gone to my son's school. It's not the fact that it has taken decades to see what Martin Luther King once dreamed of come to pass. And it's not even about the one million citizens who stood together peaceful and united in the freezing cold to watch who they perceive to be an American Hero take office.

No. Its about the fact that today a major change of power took place in complete peace. Today, a west Texan Cowboy, son of a former president, a republican, handed over the keys of his home and country to an African American Democrat with ancestry rooted in another country. As Obama was sworn in, Bush sat peacefully in observance and watched as power slipped from his shoulders and settled quite heavily onto anothers. Today, our nation changed. For the better or worse, we do not know. But today, America stood at its finest, as we watched the most peaceful transfers of power take place. One man gave up willingly his power to another. Because that's what America asked for.

Now, I understand that there are a good many of us who did not choose the man we now call President. And I understand that I may be looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses in this moment as I choose only to see the good in this day, but... mustn't we? Aren't there times when we have to see with eyes of hope? Aren't there times when we must look for the light even as the clouds close in? America, and all that she stands for, may be slipping away, but today, as two men of nearly opposite thought, vision and experience peacefully traded places, America was America.

We do not know what tomorrow holds. But we know Who holds tomorrow. So today, I will simply appreciate what I witnessed today...and pray for our new president.

annoying.

I'm trying to be an aware, informed American citizen and watch the inauguration. But dear sweet Grant pressed the button on the remote that puts this gigantic box on the screen which bounces around blocking the picture. It says something like, "your remote now controls the tv not the satellite" or something.

Not a big deal, right? Just press the button that removes the big box of annoying. Well, the kid must have swallowed the remote or something, because I can't find it to save my life.

I'm gonna have to watch this whole inauguration with a big blue box obstructing the view of 2/3rds of the screen.

Annoying.

relief. sorta.

For the first time since, oh, maybe November 1st, I don't have any pictures to edit. I have no cds to burn. I don't even have a slideshow to create. And it feels so nice!

But then...

That means I didn't have many shoots either. But, have you looked outside lately? It's pretty brown. I bet in March it will pick back up. So, for right now, I will study some. Organize even more. And enjoy the break!

(to be clear, I do like the editing and picture taking and slideshow making, but as with anything, a break every once and again, is much appreciated.)

everything I dreamed it would be...

My weekend in San Antonio was just heavenly! Just as planned, we did a whole lotta nuthin'! I slept in. Three days in a row! I ate food without preparing something for children first. I didn't see but the one teeny tiny smidgen of a golf tournament as we kicked michael off the golf channel. And I got to hang out with my best friend and just chat. For hours. It was heavenly. Today, I've literally been in a state of semi-depression since my return. Of course, the cute boys, all three of 'em, that I returned to, did ease the suffering some, but...Kylah jo is still, what seems like, a world away. Sigh.

I love you, friend! Thanks for letting me come. And for being the best friend a girl could have! See ya next weekend? ; )

Abslolutely, totally, 110% cannot wait!

Today I am driving, ALONE, to go see my dear pregnant friend in San Antonio for THREE WHOLE DAYS! We chose this weekend way back in November, carefully carved out the time, I arranged for childcare, she arranged for being in the perfect mood to just veg with a good friend by catching morning sickness :), and today is the day I will finally load up the car and head out! I seriously am so excited - it's like Christmas morning!

We plan to:
Do nothing. :)

that's the best part. I envision us not leaving the couch for hours. Watching a few movies. Eating whatever sounds good to her poor little tummy and just being friends.

We might venture out to see Australia. We might venture out so she can eat at a pizza hut buffet. And we might maybe do a little shopping.

But, should we do nothing, but sit across from each other on her couch and chat it up for three full days, I will have had the best weekend!

While I'm gone, Mason and Grant will be living it up with Gema. I think it's going to be a great weekend for all.

I can't wait to see you friend! See ya in about 9 hours!!!!

not so good.

I just told Mason to not speak rudely to Mario.

As in Mario, brother to Luigi. Slayer of evil mushrooms. Defender of...what is he fighting for?

I think it's time to turn off the wii...

really!?

Grant was down for his nap, happily drifting off into the land of nod. The house was silent. I was knocking things off my to-do list.

Then they came. Some work crew from "we-make-as-much-noise-as-possible Demolition". Scraping, banging, and roaring filled the air as they began their apparent removal of the street RIGHT outside of Grant's window.

The dogs started barking.
Grant started crying.
The banging and incessant drilling continued.
And now there is even an occasional honk with much beeping as giant dump trucks go in reverse.

My five minutes of peace have come to an end.
Oh, how very sweet they were...

and now the phone rings.

So that they'll haunt me every time i get on the internet:

This week I MUST:

1. Pay the sales tax thing. It's all figured out. I have the money. I'm just scared...
2. Mop. I've given new meaning to the term "you could eat off my floor."
3. Laundry - like even putting it away and stuff.
4. grocery shopping - grant cannot live on nutrigrain bars
5. Deposit Money!
   
6. vaccum - see #2
7. Dust - holy cow. It's bad.
8. Edit shoots - I didn't like one of them. That makes editing them so hard..
9. Follow - Up customers actually followed up on.
10. RUN!
11. Senior Package - made, posted, ready...
12. keep house clean so mom doesn't think she failed raising me
    
13. Figure out money...I despise money.
14. To offer prints or to not offer prints?...that is the question. Answer it.
    
15. Begin my own personal portfolio. Fun! (If I begin this too soon, 1-14 will never be done...)
    

Three Things that Warm my Heart.

That was the prompt for one of my 4th grade classes before Christmas. Their finished pieces were so sweet and touching that I was inspired to write my own...

Sometimes, when I least expect it, something simple will happen that warms my heart. You know the feeling - that almost tangible lift in your spirit, a literal warming of your heart and soul. And the most heart warming things aren't typically those big grand gestures that demand your attention, but it's those little subtle things. Those things that almost go completely unnoticed, amid the chaos and stress of every day life, those miniscule moments can warm us through and through...if we just see them.

Have you ever watched a classroom of students say the pledge? Standing tall, united, hands over their heart, they recite, "I pledge allegiance..." not even fully understanding the words their saying. But somehow they already know. They know the meaning behind the words they don't understand. "one nation under God..." they say in unison, voices fading and rising. "liberty and justice for all..." and their hands slide from their little chests and the moment has passed. Their innocence, even when some of their lives are anything but, is precious and endearing.

What about when an old man, wearing coveralls and Old Spice, personality dancing in his eyes, begins a game of peek-a-book in the grocery line with your baby? He winks and hides. Your baby stares wide-eyed. The old man raises his beautiful aged hands to his face, hiding his eyes. Finally, "peek-a-boo!" he all but giggles out. Your child smiles. The game continues as the line moves forward. And if you just look a little harder at the gentleman, you notice a ring on his finger, yet he's buying dish soap. And powdered donuts. And you realize he's married, but without a wife. And perhaps this little game of peek-a-boo is just as precious to him as it was to you. "They grow so fast..." he says, his eyes never leaving your baby.

Have you ever really, I mean, really looked at the sunset? And thought about who paints that sky. Every night. Every color, every ribbon of glory, perfectly placed to make you smile at the end of your day. If we'd only just see it. "I painted this for you, my child. Do you see?" And the sunset is not a simple still life. It's a changing, flowing, dynamic work of art. Each moment a new shape laces through the setting sun, a new color flashes and is gone. Every passing minute brings a new show as one color fades into another, clouds appear gray one minute and glow with an orange unlike anything you've ever seen in the next. It's a show unlike any other, put on every night, but how many have we missed? "For you...I made this." He smiles.

I heart sunsets, part two.

PerrythePlatypus!

There's a show on the disney channel called Phineas and Ferb.

I love it.

I do. I know it's ridiculous and I'm sure if you've seen it, you've hated it. But I love it.

The premise:
Two brothers (phineas and ferb) fill the lazy days of summer doing absurd, impossible things (Constructing a swinter ski slope in their back yard with a sno cone machine) while their pet, Perry the platypus who never speaks, fights the evil dr. doofenschmirtz who makes me laugh hysterically. Candace, their annoying older sister tries tirelessly to rat her brothers out while falling in love with the boy down the street jeremy. And my favorite character of all - Isabella - enters every show with a "whatcha doing?" to Phineas with whom she is innocently smitten.

It shames me that I can detail the show so well.

But this post isn't really about Phineas and Ferb. It's about the fact that every afternoon, I pick up mason, we get home, he gets a snack, I get a microwaved cup of coffee, and grant gets a "juice" and we watch Phineas and Ferb together and laugh. And it's just so simply wonderful.

I know it's a tv show and perhaps we should do homework first, or chores, or play outside. But...snuggling up on the couch and laughing with my five year old son isn't the worst thing I could do.

After Mason is tucked in, I put on my ipod to clean house. I like the music. It makes cleaning house so much better. Anyway, as I was tucking in mase, I said, "if you have a question, don't just holler. I won't hear you."
Not 34 seconds later, I see him walking towards me.
"What do I do if I need you?" he asked, eyes wide and innocent, full of sincere ponderment. "Do I just tap you...or...or what?"
"Yeah, I guess you could tap me. Do you have any questions?"
"No. Just that one."

I had to laugh. The child even asks questions about asking questions...

2009

This is the year...

• I will run in the Capitol 10k. And more.
• I will take more pictures of my own children.
  
• I will actually do the through-out the year project I have in mind (think a picture a week of the same tree for a year....put into one big print at the end)
• I will cook things I haven't before
• I will clean things I haven't before. :)
  
• we will be better with money...can't we always?
  
• I will create an indoor studio of sorts
• I will not have any late fees at the library if it kills me.
  
• I will read more (which might cause a problem for the previously mentioned late fees...)
• I will finish my office.
  
• I will actually print pictures, not just hoard them on my computer.
  
• I will memorize scripture.
• I will eat more fruit and veggies and less candy.
  
• I will write more.
  
• I will create more.
  
• I will paint my laundry room a bright fun color.
  
• I will remember that God is in control.
  
• I will celebrate a nine year anniversary.
  
• I will enroll mason in baseball or soccer or gymnastics or boyscouts or something.
  
• I will find a way to get Grant to wear shoes.
  
• I will study photography.
  
• we will take a family trip to somewhere.
  
• I will take better care of my house.
  
• I will take better care of our dogs.
  
• I will shop for Christmas presents throughout the year even though people may not get what's on their list...
• I will knit something because it's relaxing.
  
• I will sew something because it makes me feel like a homemaker.
  
• I will mop and vacuum more because it makes me feel diligent.
  
• I will make Mason a chore chart and make him do it.
  
• I will actually grow some vegetable or fruit that we will eat.
  
• I will make the back yard pretty.
  
• I will make the front yard pretty.
  
• I will enter pictures in a contest.
• I will keep the laundry room neat because it for some reason makes the rest of the house feel cleaner.
  
• I will read and follow my queen of the castle book.
  
• I will treat Sprinkle like a true business, but not let it run my life

And I could go on, but that's enough right?

I heart Sunsets

i'm weak.

i have just finished the last of troy's milkduds.