Neither brief nor humorous...

I couldn't think of anything funny to say.

I have a concern. I am trying not to be concerned because well, that really doesn't help anything, does it? I was going to say worried but I changed the word to concerned because that seemed better. But it's the same thing, really.

Anyway, the reason I had a sonogram on Friday is because after examining me on Tuesday at an impromptu appointment brought on by me calling and saying something just feels weird, My doctor became concerned. He used that word, not worried. We must think alike.

After he checked me out, he sat down on the round wheely stool. I got concerned. He rarely sits down. He is a fantastic doctor but he is what I am not, brief. So he sits down and says that he is concerned about how low the baby's head is and that the pressure of that can cause my cervix to start opening. He went on to say that he is going to put me on some medication that has been proven effective in preterm labor. We are going to schedule a sonogram to see the exact thickness of my cervix and then we will see what we are dealing with. Take it easy, no strenuous activity, no heavy lifting. I am sure I was staring at him like I was a deer in the headlights. I didn't know what questions to ask or what to say. I could tell he was not panicked, or seriously concerned but the whole way he dealt with me changed.

Preterm labor. On Thursday I will be 28 weeks. 12 weeks to go. I don't really like that. Now, since that appt I have taken my medication faithfully and am feeling much better. I still have maybe 8-10 contractions a day, but they are painless and short. The pressure is somewhat relieved. The sonogram revealed that my cervix was at a 3.8(cm, mm, I have no clue...) and 4 is normal so that was good everyone said. But as I was leaving the office, the nurse gave me a receipt like thing and said, "Okay, if Dr. Sutliff thinks we need to check you every two weeks until you deliver, this is where you will come."

Every two weeks? Geez. Then I looked at the paper and at the bottom in the notes section someone had written, "High Risk Pregnancy." That does not make a woman feel secure.

So, of course, now I can think of a thousand questions. What are the chances I will be put on bed rest? Is it pretty certain I will deliver early? Is this common in second pregnancies? How concerned are you really, Dr. Sutliff?

Here is the stupid thing. I am not overly concerned about the baby. I feel like my doctor is more than competent in dealing with "High Risk Pregnancies" and knows how to keep this little guy safe. I think if we can keep him in his little home long enough, he will be fine.

What I am concerned about is the possibility of bed rest, taking it easy, teaching until I deliver, getting the nursery done, silly non important details. And the added medical cost. On the bottom of the pink slip that told me I was now a high risker, my balance had changed from a very friendly 180 dollars, to 740. Now, maybe insurance wasn't considered in that, yet, or maybe...something else.

But here is the thing. I feel like this will all work out. I am feeling better. My doctor knows what he is doing. And money is money. If getting this baby into the word healthy leaves us broke, oh well. A healthy baby, a baby period, is worth that. Also, maybe all the mental stress of not knowing about our future was causing some of this and now that the stress is gone, it will kind of go away.

And maybe it is nothing, anyway. Maybe this happens all the time and my doctor just failed to mention that. I have a regularly scheduled appt on Thursday and I will be loaded with questions then.

God knows what he is doing. It will be fine.

Sorry I wasn't funny. :)

PS - I did ask permission to visit my mom. He let me go. Just didn't want all you mother hens worrying... :)