The First Day.

It has come. And now has gone.


Last night, before I crawled into bed, I went and sat beside Mason while he slept and I just stroked his blond hair and rubbed his back and marvelled at my baby boy who is so big. I prayed for him. Simple quick prayers. Not the flowery fancy word kind. And I kissed him on his little cheek and tried so hard not to cry, but I couldn't help myself. The slow tears just came.


This morning, at about 4 am, I woke up in my bed and he was snuggled up next to me. I didn't even wake up when he got into our bed. He's so sneaky! But, oh, how I hugged his wiry little body as I drifted back to sleep. I wonder when will be the last time he'll crawl into our bed...


And this morning I woke up his sleepy little body before the sun had peeked above the horizon and we began our first day of school preparations. We had cinnamon rolls for breakfast per request. A Peanut Butter sandwich cut into the shape of a heart went in his lunch box with a banana that had little notes from mommy written on it. A bag of chips and a capri sun rounded out his first lunch. He put on his khaki shorts and his striped shirt and we made sure we had every thing we needed and we, Me, Troy, Grant, Gema and Mason, headed out the door to school.


We were all smiles and excited in the car. But then he got quieter and quieter as we approached the classroom. The hustle and bustle of 20 other kindergartners with parents in similar emotional strife were a momentary distraction. We found Mason's hook for his back pack, the cubby for his nap mat and then his place at his table. It was then that the first little tears came.


He didn't want to wear his name headband. He just didn't! I didn't fight it. Then he said the words I prayed he wouldn't say, "I don't want ya'll to go..." as big watery tears filled his eyes and his little lip quivered. Every part of me wanted to burst into tears too, but I was tough.
"baby, it'll be okay! (big smile) You're going to get to do so many fun things here - centers and reading and the playground! Remember the playground? And remember I'll be making chocolate chip cookies for when you come home? Remember?" He finally smiled and seemed to be okay. I hugged him and said goodbye and turned to leave.


I was just about to troy and Grant who were standing by the door when I heard his little heartbroken cry, "but momma! I don't want you to go..." It was the worst kind of crying because he was trying so hard to be brave. So hard. His little eyes were red and his neck was tight from trying to keep it together. That's when my tears finally came as I tried to reassure him with a shaky voice that today would be a great day. He hugged me and we went back to his desk.


I said goodbye again and left. He stayed that time. I stepped out of his classroom and just wanted to sob. I would have too but...I was trying to be brave. Like my little baby boy had to be. So we walked away. And left him sitting at his desk reading an ABC book about Texas.


The rest of the day was long. It seemed unending. I thought of him constantly, wondering what he was doing at every minute, hoping and praying that he was having a great day.


Finally, at 2:30 we pulled into the driveway at school and waited. At 2:45 I saw classes coming out. I left grant in the car with mom and went to the classes. He saw me almost immediately and grinned. But he didn't run to me. He waited to tell his teacher just like he was supposed to. And then he ran to me. And then he smiled.


He likes singing time best.
There's a tiny girl named ashley.
He made three friends - ashley, caden and ???
You can choose whatever centers you want to play in.
His water bottle tasted like chocolate milk so we have to get a new one.
You just rest during nap time.
He knew EVERYTHING in that class.
They're going to have roles soon like line leader and caboose.


There was more, but those were the highlights.


I think we're going to be okay. Today was tough. I'm not gonna lie. It was tough. But I really think he's gonna love it there.
Eating his cinnamon rolls. I was too nervous to eat. I didn't even have coffee.

All ready to go. He styled his own hair and everything.

Saying bye to Bubba and Daddy.