the HEB parking lot

Jenny sat at her vanity in her room. Oldies were playing as she carefully curled her hair. She smiled at her reflection, giddy with joy. Tonight was the night. She just knew it. She had to look perfect. She pulled on jeans and a white tee shirt that had a pocket on its sleeve. Troy, for some reason, liked that shirt. Then she opened the drawer she kept her jewelry in. In the back was a small box of rings, all turtle rings. They were ridiculous, but she loved them. As she looked at them she flashed back to her 2nd Corpus trip with Troy. She saw Troy's fingers laced through her own, rubbing his thumb over each ring and smiling at her. She stopped wearing them when Jess, a former boyfriend, made fun of them. She had given up so much of herself to be with him, she didn't hardly know who she was anymore. She glanced up at her reflection and just stared at herself.

She wasn't the same person she had been. She had learned a lot the last two years about herself, things she didn't really like. She had let parts of her change just to be accepted by guys who never valued her. If they had, they wouldn't have tried to change her. They wouldn't have made her cry.

She remembered having a conversation with her dad about Parker. She casually mentioned that he didn't like her to wear shorts that were too short. Her dad firmly expressed how scary that was to him. "Jenny," he said, "any person that tries to control you without any authority to do so is dangerous. No one, but your mother and I, should have any power over you." Her dad was soft spoken and kind, and only spoke in that tone when he felt very passionate about the topic at hand.

After those words, she began to notice more and more things about Parker and the way he treated her, like she was his property or something. He didn't like her friends and they didn't like him. He wanted her all to himself, all the time. And Jenny was blind to it for so long.
As she looked at her face in the mirror, she felt so ugly, so undeserving of anything good. Why would Troy want this girl back? She wasn't the same Jenny he fell in love with in Corpus. And he knew all about...everything. How could he forgive her of that? A hot tear rolled slowly down her cheek. She didn't deserve him. He was perfect. She was anything but. She rested her head on the edge of the vanity and cried. Tears fell steadily on her jeans, as she heaved great painful sobs of regret. She knew what she had done had been wrong, but now, now that she wanted to win back the man to whom she would want to give everything, she realized, she couldn't. Someone else already had, forever, a piece of her. Her heart split in two with an ache she had suppressed for so long. Every barrier holding back the emotion she had forever blocked out came tumbling down. She slumped to the floor, leaned against her bed and cried deep suffocating sobs. He could never love her now.

Finally, when there were no more tears, she peeled herself off the floor, and wiped her face with the back of her hand. Her favorite turtle ring flopped open and she smiled. Troy once wrote "I love you" on a tiny piece of paper and put it in that ring for her to find later. Troy knew everything and he had never treated her differently. She had messed up in the worst way, but he already knew that and, so far, that hadn't changed anything. Maybe it wouldn't now.

After having to completely redo her make-up, she was running late. She scrambled to throw herself together, said bye to her parents, and sped off in Ruby.

After her crying spell, the nervous excitement of the day had diminished some, but as she pulled into the parking lot, and saw Troy casually sitting on the bench outside HEB, her heart began to pound as that now familiar heat washed over her.
He smiled as she pulled up to him, "Need a ride, hot stuff?" She joked.
He grinned, "Yeah, I'm headed to the area of Meadowlakes. You headed that way?"
"I am now." She played back, knowing the night ahead would be one to remember.

As he climbed into her '89 dodge colt, she got a little nervous. Her car was a piece and she hated driving people, besides her friends, around.
"So, you inherited good ol' Ruby from Josh?" Troy asked.
"Oh, yeah, quite the heirloom. The speedometer doesn't work now. It's fun trying to guess how fast I am going..."

He was watching her shift gears as he told her what streets to turn down. His eyes on her were making her nervous as she approached her worst fear - a stop sign on a hill.
Don't stall. Don't stall. Don't stall.
When her turn came to go, she peeled out through the stop sign, making the wheels squeal as she slammed down the gas too quickly. They both lurched forward, then jerked back.
She laughed hysterically. "I am so sorry! I hate hills. I hate 'em. I stall out or peel out every time!" She explained, still laughing.
He was laughing, too, as he said, "Well, I barely know how to drive standard, so I'm impressed."

Finally, they made it to Adam's house, unharmed from the drive, parked and headed in. Adam was just putting Armageddon into some new VCR thing called a DVD player, explaining to everyone who would listen the advantages of this new technology when he saw Jenny and Troy enter the room.
"Hey, you made it...about time." He stood up, towering his 6' 6" frame over Jenny and smiled a knowing smile. She had always liked Adam - he was extremely funny and nice and was the first guy to give her a rose. He took her to homecoming her freshman year. It was weird to think he even did that...She knew he knew what her plans were for the evening and it was nice to have his silent support.

"Yeah, I was late picking him up. Thanks for inviting me. Really, you have no idea..." She said. Troy smiled at her as she said the last part. And she grinned right back at him.

Soon enough, the movie started and Jenny and Troy were sitting on opposite ends of the leather love seat. At first, they just watched the movie, every once in a while laughing or making a comment about Bruce Willis trying be serious.
Then he said, "I see the turtle rings are back."
"Yeah...I felt it was time. I missed 'em."
"Let me see." Troy said.
Jenny's heart raced as she put out her hands to reveal the rings. When he took her hands in his, she practically melted into a puddle on the floor. She blushed deeply and looked down at her hands being held by his. He flipped her favorite one open and smiled.
"That's the best one."
"Yeah." She said looking at his big hands holding hers, finally, again. They dropped hands but were now right next to each other. They stayed like that for the rest of the movie, hardly even noticing it was still on. Jenny sat cross legged facing him, her bent knee over his thigh and they just talked...about nothing at all. They laughed and flirted, teased and talked. The flow of conversation was just so easy and unforced. She loved to just be near him.
"Nice shirt." Troy commented, sliding his finger into the teeny tiny pocket on her right shoulder.
"I wore it just for you." She said boldly, with a smirk.
He raised an eyebrow, "Oh, really?"
"Yes, really. I know you've always liked and it makes me feel hot. I know that's a conceited thing to say, but I wanted to feel hot tonight. I didn't say it made me hot, it just makes me feel hot." She said, loving that she could be so bluntly honest and know that he didn't think a thing about it.
"No, it makes you hot." He said grinning.She laughed and tossed her hair. They were practically facing each other now, shoulders touching as Jenny was all but sitting on his lap as he laid his hand on the bent leg resting on his thigh. Butterflies of excitement fluttered through out her whole body as she summoned the courage to lay her hand on his, slightly wrapping her fingers over his. He leaned into her and whispered, sending chills down her neck and back, "You wanna go for a drive or something? Get away for a while?"
Breathless, she nodded closing her eyes for a split second.
"I'll be back." he said suddenly and stood up.
"O...kay." she said unsure of where he was going.

Now she was left alone with only a few people who she barely knew. Except one person. Jess. The guy she dated before Parker. The guy who single-handedly destroyed her self image in one short month. She didn't like Parker, but she hated Jess. With every fiber of her being. He would be the guy she would never forgive, the person she would think of during sermons in church about forgiveness. It wasn't just what he did to her, but the complete disregard for his actions. He had no remorse, never an apology.

He was sitting on the opposite side of the room from Jenny when he caught her eye. He grinned devilishly at her and said, "Well, you look like you're having a great time."
"Yeah, I am." She replied looking away as he stood up and made his way across the room to join her on the love seat.
"You know, I'm glad you finally wised up about Parker." He said staring at her coolly, "He was such a jerk."
There are some things certain people just can't say. This was one of them. Yeah, Parker was a jerk, but Jess was in a class all his own. He, of all people, had no right to say anyone was a jerk.
"He's a prince compared to you." She said with every ounce of anger and maliciousness she had within her.
He held his cool grin,his white teeth gleaming as he leaned back in the sofa. He let his eyes wander slowly over her body. His stare had always made her self conscious, completely out of place in her own skin and this night was no different.

"And now Troy, again." He continued, his emphasis on the last word mocking her. "He's a good guy. But..."

Her face red with fury, she stopped him mid-sentence, "He's the best guy. The only guy. The...guy. He's not some self righteous...pig that... manipulates people. You're not even in the same class as him. Not even in the same...same..." She hated that she could never find the right words when she most wanted to.
"Woah, woah, woah," Jess laughed casually, "Calm down, Jenny, no need to get all upset. I was just going to suggest you be on your own for a while."
She hated that he didn't even seemed phased by her anger, that he was oblivious to the palpable hate she had for him. And now he was giving her advice.

"Alone for a while? Being with you made me feel more alone than I ever have in my life. Being with you was worse than being alone. And since when do you think about anyone besides yourself? Do me a favor, Jess, and stop pretending to care for me, or about anything besides yourself." She stood up, red and shaking as she turned to go outside. She heard Jess chuckling to himself and fury raged within her. Every part of her being wanted to turn around and beat the living snot out of him.

Standing in the night air, she tried to cool down, to forget him. Jess was in the past. She needed to leave him there.
"Hey," she heard Troy say, "What are you doing out here?"
"I hate that guy." She said, spitting the words out with disgust.
"Who? Jess. He's a jerk. I didn't know he was going to be here. Did he say something to you?"
"I hate that I can't ever shake him, that he's always so cool, or thinks he's so cool. The way he looks at me like I'm a joke. I just wish I could make him hurt, physically hurt deep down the way he..." Her sentence faded into the night air as she saw Troy's face grow cloudy. "Whatever. He's in the past and I like...now." She finished, forcing a smile.
"What did he say to you?" He asked, a hint of anger boiling within his voice.
"He suggested I be alone for a while." She answered, looking away. "As if he has any idea what's good for me...."
"Maybe you should be...you know, be on your own for a while. It might be good..." His voice trailed off as he looked out at the parked cars in front of Adam's house. For a moment she was terrified he was trying to find a way out of what was happening between them, but then she realized that he was just trying to say what he thought he should.
She turned to face him. "I have been alone for two years. I may have had a boyfriend, but I was alone. I am sick of alone. I'm ready for..." She couldn't think of a good way to end the sentence.
"A drive?" he filled in, dangling Lee's keys from his finger.
"Ooh! The Mustang! He's a good guy, Lee." Jenny bubbled up instantly, the conversation with Jess forgotten.
"Yeah, he is." Troy agreed as they made their way to Lee's brand new white mustang.They climbed in and sped away, leaving Jess and the party behind them.

At first they just sat, listening to the radio, not really saying much. Then Jenny asked, "So, I never heard, what happened between you and Crystal? Why'd you break up?"

"Well," he began. "She was great. She was pretty, athletic, funny, outgoing..."Jenny did not like where this was going.
"Okay, I get it." She laughed, "Don't beat me to death with it. I asked why you broke up. Usually that's when you point out her flaws."
He grinned and looked out at the road as he said, "She wasn't you."
Jenny's heart all but stopped beating. She didn't know what to say to that, so she attempted to be funny.
"Well," she said with sarcasm, "No one is. I mean, I am pret-tee amazing."
His eyes still on the road in front of them, he said, "No, I'm serious. She really was, is a great girl. I liked spending time with her and I tried to make me, make us work, but, then I'd see you and I knew it was pointless. I had to have you back."
Jenny, suddenly had absolutely no words as her body began to literally tremble with every possible emotion. Troy seemed unusually calm, very out of character for him during conversations like this.
"That's why I broke up with her," he continued, "I wanted you back and I knew it was wrong to be with someone else when I felt that way. Seeing you with Parker every day and then hearing about all your fights... I thought you'd never get out. When you told me that you and Parker broke up, I couldn't...I mean, I was...It was great news."
Jenny finally managed to squeak out a pathetic, "Yeah?" before he went on.
"Then, when we were at the movies, you treated me just like you always do, a friend, and then when you wouldn't just tell me what you were thinking, I was afraid you were regretting the break up. That's why I was acting so weird...I couldn't imagine seeing you with that jerk again. I had to have you back. It's always been and always will be you." He finished.
Jenny took a deep breath. He had put it all out there, plain and simple. There was no sugar coating, no charm, just cold, hard facts.
And she wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Now, it was her turn. Trying to control her body as she actually shivered with excitement, she began, "Wow. Okay, so, I am not as good at these kind of conversations as you apparently are, so I'll just start." Troy smiled as she began.

"I kind of got lost in Parker. At first, I really did like him, but then he just turned into this...controlling jerk. But I couldn't just give up. It was like a challenge to fix him, to change him. I had to make it, us work. After Jess and I, my self esteem was gone and Parker, at first, built that right back up. Staying with him was what I thought I had to do. I couldn't fail again."

Troy nodded and glanced at her as he drove towards horseshoe bay.

"But then it just got worse and worse. I didn't really want to stay with him, but I was so caught up in it. I really thought he adored me, but he somehow was...just destroying me. I was just so...so upset all the time. We fought all the time..But I didn't want to let it go for some stupid reason. I just felt like if I could just be good enough or something, it'd work out. But then, do you remember that day a few weeks ago, when I saw you at the basketball tournament?"
"At school, during lunch?" He asked.
She nodded and continued, "I knew then that it would be okay...if I could get you back. Later that same day, I was in dance class and my teacher had us do this really weird thing where we laid on the floor and listened to music to relax. She played Angel by Sarah Ma -whatever-her-name-is. I just laid there... and cried. At that moment, I knew Parker and I were going to break up and it broke my heart,. As bad as he was, it still hurt to lose something I was so used to... But then, about halfway through the song, I thought about you. And I knew, if I could just win you back, it'd be okay. I knew you were always the one I'd end up with, but I was an idiot that thought maybe I should make sure you were the one by dating complete jerks."

His face was serious as she continued quickly.

"About a week after Parker and I got together, I was talking to Cristy, telling her about him, and I told her that I didn't know why I was even dating Parker, because I knew, in the end, I would marry you. I knew we were meant to be. I really thought Parker and I would date for a few weeks at most, but then it just kept going. Then I heard you were dating Crystal, and I figured there was no chance for me and you. That made me want to make it work with Parker even more."
Jenny knew she was rambling."So, I am probably saying way too much. I'm sorry. I -"
"No, you're not." He interrupted with a smile.
"Good, I just want you to know why I was so stupid."
"You weren't stupid."
"Yeah, I was....anyway, when Parker broke up with me, I knew that I had to get you back. At the movies, I had this terrible thought that you were only there because Richard liked me -"
"What?" He said, shocked.
"Well, you were weird that night. You let him just talk and talk and you hardly said a word-"
"It's Richard," he explained, "you can't keep him from talking."
"That's true," Jenny agreed with a laugh. "But, I guess, it was hard for me to believe you'd want me back...that you'd feel the same way. I did break up with you twice and...then, everything else."
"Yeah, you did pretty much rip my heart out twice. You better not do that again." He said with a grin.
"I know. I'm sorry, but I think it was good... in a very odd kind of way. I mean, if I hadn't broken up with you and I hadn't dated other idiot jerks, then I would maybe never have realized how perfect you are."
"I'm not perfect."
"You're pretty dang close." She said with a smile. "Okay, I know this is off subject, but where the heck are we going?"
He laughed that wonderful laugh, "I have no idea. Adam told me there was this place somewhere up here...that overlooks something. I don't know."
"Oh, so you're driving me to some make-out hot spot?" She teased.
He blushed, "No! I mean, well, that's what it is...but I just wanted a place to go...to talk or whatever."
"Or whatever?"
"Shut up." He smiled. "I can't find it anyway, so where should we go?"
Jenny looked at the clock. 10:45. Her heart fell.
"I have to be home by eleven." She said as though she were stating the time of her execution.
"Aw, really?" he said, immediately slowing down the car to turn around. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about what time it is. I don't want you to get in trouble. I can't have you grounded, especially now..."
"Don't worry. My mom's always had a soft spot for you. When she finds out where I was, she'll let me off the hook...now, dad, that's a different story."
He sped up a bit, turning towards Adam's subdivision.

On the way back to Adam's, they just talked about randomness, neither one knowing how to get the conversation back to where they wanted it to be. Jenny was desperately trying to think of a way to stretch out the evening as they pulled in front of Adam's house. She could not leave yet. She didn't care about curfew. She was never late before. This being her first offense might save her from serious consequences. But how could she stretch out the evening? They couldn't say goodbye at Adam's. There were people everywhere. Then she had the most brilliant of all brilliant ideas.
"I don't know how to get out of meadowlakes!" She said suddenly, out of nowhere, like she had just solved the most difficult math problem she'd ever seen.
It took Troy a second to catch on. "Oh, well that is a major problem. I guess I'll just have to lead you out..."
Then Jenny realized that once he did that they wouldn't have a chance to say goodbye at all. They'd be in their cars. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
"Then what?" he asked.
Thank God!
"Then...HEB?" That was the best she could think of. The stupid HEB parking lot.
"O...kay." Troy said puzzled.
"I don't know! It's the best I can think of. I just don't want to leave yet."
He smiled. "Cool, let's go."

They climbed into their separate cars and Jenny followed him to HEB. She was grinning from ear to ear the whole way there, her heart racing as she replayed their conversation over in her mind again and again. They were back together, he hadn't officially said as much, but it was obvious. She had him back. He did like her, love her.

She couldn't believe that their evening was about to be over. She just wanted to sit and talk with him for hours, to make up for the last two years. Now that there was no worry of how he felt, they could talk about any and everything... and now she had to leave. Stupid curfews.

When they got to HEB, she parked and he pulled in right behind her. She got out and walked towards his car. He was grinning as she came towards him.
"This has been a great night." she said, emphasizing each word.
He leaned against Adam's car and smiled."I can't believe this happened. I never thought I'd get you back."
Jenny, turning to face him, leaned into him and took his hands."I know." She said grinning a huge, dorky grin.
"Jenny and Troy, again."
"Finally."
"Third time's a charm..."

They were looking at each other smiling and suddenly, Jenny knew they were going to kiss. They had to. If they didn't kiss now...this was the moment she had been dreaming of, waiting for, anticipating. She wrapped her hand around his neck as she rose up on tiptoes, until she was inches from his face. Troy eyes found hers, then his gaze dropped to her lips as he placed one hand on the small of her back. Slowly, they kissed. As they came together, she melted into him as the world seemed to dissolve around her. His arms tightened around her waist, then his hands rose slowly to her neck. After a short moment, she pulled away and he smiled down at her."You have no idea..." he breathed, his hands still holding her face close to his.
"...how long I've wanted to do that." She finished.
"Really?" He said, surprised.
"Are you kidding me?" Jenny giggled. "I about mauled you last night after the game."
"No way! I wanted to kiss you too, but I didn't know how you felt and then just when I was barely getting the courage to -"
"Adam!" They both said in unison.
"I know!" Jenny laughed. "I seriously wanted to knock him out...but I guess this was better. I had such a great time tonight."
"I know, me too." He kissed her again with a little more confidence this time and Jenny knew she had to go, for more reasons than one.
"I have...have to go." She whispered.
"I know. " He said, unwilling to let her out of his arms.
"I'll call you tomorrow?"
"Tonight."
"Tonight." She said pulling herself away.She lingered, wishing that she had forever to stand in that parking lot. Finally, she turned towards her car, reaching for her keys when she got to her door. When they weren't there, she looked back at Troy, and, dangling from his hand, were her keys. Without saying a word, she went towards him as he did the same, their pace quickening with every step until they were again in each other's arms, kissing as though they had no tomorrow. Jenny had been kissed before, but never, not once, like this. She had to summon every ounce of willpower to pull herself away.
"I have to go." she said breathlessly, "Or...I have to go."
"I know. I know..." He said, holding her against his chest.He released his embrace running his hand down her arm, lacing her fingers through his.She looked at their hands and said, "That, that, feels so good."
He smiled, kissed her on the forehead and then dropped her hand."You better go. If you get grounded or something and I can't see you until Monday at school, I will lose my mind."
"I'll call you. The moment I walk in the door...or the moment right after the moment I explain where I've been."
"Okay."
They stood there, both unwilling to move away from each other. Finally, with a deep sigh, she turned, walked to her car and climbed in.
She must have drove home, but she couldn't tell you how. Even when she came in 30 minutes past curfew, her dad's stern reprimand couldn't shake her. She was defining the phrase "walking on air."
As soon as she could get up to her room and dial the phone she did. And then they talked. They talked for hours into the night, about everything from the very silly to their future together. Finally, as the sun was peeking up over the horizon, they said goodbye and Jenny fell asleep knowing her dreams would never be better than her new reality.

Another Tomorrow.

School was worse than expected. Not only did everyone know about the break-up, everyone had a very strong opinion about it. Opinions varied from "He's such a jerk. I can't believe you dated him as long as you did....You know he went to parties without you and did stuff...You were always way too good for that pig." to "You're gonna work it out, right? You're so cute together. And Parker still totally loves you...Give him another chance." But that wasn't the worst part.

Parker's best friend had been at the movie theater the night before. He saw Jenny with Richard and Troy and that kind of thing can definitely get the gossip wheel turning. But, Jenny didn't even care. Parker, the idiot, as Troy so eloquently put it, did, ultimately end the relationship. She was free to do what she wanted with whomever she wanted. She was shocked at how much she didn't care about the rumors. She knew the truth and that's all that mattered.


What she was unprepared for was the sudden attention she got from a different crowd all together. For some reason, suddenly she was the hottest thing to hit the market. Guys, the popular, could-have-any-girl-in-the-school guys were suddenly very talkative. But Jenny didn't care. She really didn't. She knew what they saw and she definitely knew what they wanted. she was not interested one bit.

All she cared about was going to that basketball game.

The school day was long and exhausting. She was sick of explaining and answering questions. She saw Parker a few times and he would make some stupid jerk remark to a friend as she walked by. The only good thing about the unending day was seeing Troy at lunch and around school. He, Richard and Adam did as they said they would. They met her, ate with her and made her laugh harder than she had in a long time. She felt so good with them. The layers of self doubt and self-consciousness built up by the past two relationships were peeling away. And Troy, she could tell, wanted to be near her. There was hope and, a great deal of it, in his actions. She just couldn't wait to be alone with him, if even for a moment.

Finally, finally, she was walking into the MFHS gym to watch Troy play. She spotted Richard in the crowd, off by himself, alone. She headed up to him with a big grin. Richard was a good guy and spending the evening next to his one-liners wouldn't be so bad.

"Hey!" She said plopping down beside him.
"Hey. What's up?" He responded.
"Nothing, just glad to be here." She answered.
"I bet." He said with a knowing grin.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She teased back, slapping his arm with the back of her hand.
"Oh, you know what it means. It's so obvious. You two.." He stopped, but Jenny didn't know why. Then she saw Spencer Chase two steps away from her, smiling that too-cool smile of his.
Great. Last year, Spencer, you would have had me at hello. Your timing's a little off...
"Hey, Jenny. Man, sorry to hear about you and Parker." He said in a genuinely fake voice. "He's an idiot to let you go."
"Yeah." She said flatly, trying to sound cool, nice, but uninterested. Even though she didn't like him, his good looks and bold confidence was unsettling. She felt so insignificant talking to guys like him.
"Well, this weekend a big group of us are hanging out at Ryan's. You should come out, get your mind off things. His house is awesome." He was sitting very close to her now, one arm leaned against the bleacher behind her back. His perfect blond hair combed to immaculate perfection accented his cool blue eyes and he leaned in closer, smiling, as his cologne swept over Jenny. It was at that moment that the team filed out of the locker room and onto the court. Her eyes searched and then found Troy and the butterflies in her stomach whirled rapidly. She looked right at Spencer, smiled coyly, then looked out at the court as she replied, "Yeah, I don't think so. I kind of have some plans, but, you know, if I get desperate, maybe."

The shock on his face was mild compared to Jenny's shock at her own words. Slowly, he took his arm down, leaned both elbows on his knees and said, "Well, if you change your mind, give me a call."
Looking at the court, Jenny replied through a smile oozing with charm, "Thanks, Spencer, really. But I think I'm good."
Ruffled, he got up and said with forced casualness, "Cool."

"You just turned down Spencer Chase. Yeah -You and Troy -I knew it was just a matter of time." said Richard as he watched Spencer go back to his posse of jocks.

"What are you talking about? I just don't want to go to some stupid party." Jenny replied, praying he would say more.

"Oh, come on. Last night at the movie, you, all giggly and flirty. Then coming to his game, and at lunch. You're all over him!"

"Whatever! I was not flirty last night! We hardly even talked and Troy's my friend. I just want to watch him play..." Jenny took a deep breath. "Plus, it's not like he's interested...right?"

"Um, yeah, I am pretty sure...Oh, great here we go again."

"Huh?" She said following Richard's eyes. Coming up towards her in long easy strides was Spencer's right hand man, Steven. Oh, for crying out loud.

"Hey, Jenny." Steven began.
"Hey," she sighed.
"You gotta give my boy a chance. He's really into you. And he's a good guy. Just hang out with him for a while."

"Into me? Really?" She questioned with sarcasm, "He doesn't even know me, Steven. And I'm just not interested. I just...want to be left alone for a while. No guys for a while."

"Oh, naw, he's not into anything serious. He just wants to hang out, get to know you." Steven argued.

Jenny wasn't good at being rude, or saying no or any form of confrontation, especially with people who were so confident in their every word.

"I'll think about it, okay. But I'm just really not...interested...right now. He's a nice guy, but..."

"Just come sit with us."

"No."

"Come on. What's the harm in sitting with us?"

Jenny took a deep breath and looked at that crowd. Spencer was smiling at her, but then glanced away when another guy play punched him in the arm. They were the popular kids, the group she had always secretly wanted to be a part of. They were so cool and now they wanted her to join them. She could just be nice and sit with them. What would be the harm in just sitting with them? She didn't like Spencer in any way, but that didn't mean she had to shun him. She glanced out at the court and saw Troy watching her from the bench. When he saw her looking at him, he quickly glanced away.

"No. I can't leave Richard all alone and, no. No thanks. I'm fine where I am." She stated firmly.

"Cool. Whatever. That's cool." Finally, he turned and left.


Jenny let out a deep breath and looked at Richard, "What's the deal there? Seriously!"
"You're fresh meat." He stated with a straight face. Then laughed.
"I cannot believe you just said that to me. Fresh meat. Jerk." Jenny laughed at Richard's teasing insult. "Fresh meat. I'm the same me, but apparently, somehow I am the new and improved version."


She had to somehow get the conversation back to she and Troy. But before she could creatively do that, Richard started on some tirade about Jocks and girls and that transformed into basketball conversation. She couldn't exactly just say, "So, yeah, I want to profess my love to your best friend. How do you think he's gonna respond to that?"

During the fourth quarter, the game began to unravel. Even Jenny, who knew next to nothing about sports, could sense the disaster happening on the court. And Coach Berkman looked mad. Real mad. A worry crept into her heart. Those words she had rehearsed all day wouldn't sound the same if they fell on defeated ears. Especially after one of Coach Berkman's famous rants. She glanced at Troy sitting on the bench. He no longer even looked towards the stands, but just sat edged on his seat, brows furrowed in frustration. He was far from happy.



When the final buzzer sounded, MFHS was three points shy of victory. Players sulked and slammed their way into the locker room, followed by an even angrier coach. This was not good. She should just leave. It was already late and Troy was mad and she had to be home before 11. Maybe tonight wasn't right.

But she had to at least see him. And talk to him. She couldn't leave without at least saying hi. She had to see him. When she got to her car, she sat on her hood and waited.

And waited.

And waited still. I should just leave. I've been sitting here for half an hour. He's going to think that's weird. And he may not even want to see me. He's probably still ticked from the game. But I can't leave. I just have to at least see him for a second. She couldn't peel herself away,
so she waited still.

Finally, she heard the gym door slam against the concrete wall as Troy's tall frame stormed out, silhouetted against the bright gym lights.

For the rest of her life, the way he looked in that moment would forever send a tingle down her spine.

Looking out at the parking lot, he took quick angry strides. His hair, still wet and tousled from the shower, allowed little droplets of water to run down his cheeks. His eyes were burning with frustration under a brow wrinkled in defeat. He frown was furious. His shirt, blowing against his chest from the wind, clung to the remaining wetness from his shower. He was, in that moment, indescribably sexy. There was no other word for it.

He stormed towards Adam's car, in the row before her own, and slammed his bag on the hood. Jenny knew instantly she shouldn't have stayed for so long. She would be the last person he wanted to see. She wished she could escape unseen somehow, but she was in plain sight. Quickly she scooted off her hood, and went to open her door.
"Jenny?" Her heart stopped, then beat with new vigor.
"Yeah, hey, I just - was waiting - hey." She stammered.
"For an hour?" Troy asked with a bit of annoyance.
"Yeah, um, I just wanted to, you know, say hi and...hi. But I have to go."
His voice softened as he said, "Really?"

Hope.

"Um, well, I need to be home by 11, but I kept thinking you, ya'll, would come out and so I just kept waiting, but I don't think you look like talking."
He came toward her, his blue eyes steady and hot, as beads of sweat mingled with the water running down his face. Jenny's hands began to shake as a cold burning sensation flared in her chest.
"No, I can talk. I'd love to talk. About anything but that stupid game."
"Well, good, because you know I am pretty much an idiot when it comes to basketball, so I certainly wouldn't help."
He laughed. He laughed. She loved his laugh.
As he got closer to his car, he sat on her hood, arms resting on his knees and looked at the gym. She joined him.
"That sucked. I screwed up that game, big time."
You said we weren't going to talk about basketball.
"And Coach was ticked. He just kept yelling at us. I mean, we know we screwed up, don't beat us to death with it." He continued.
He leaned back on his hand, placing it just inches away from Jenny's and looked at her.
"I can't believe you stayed this long."
His blue eyes held hers for a moment. He was right there, inches from her, and they were alone under the perfect night sky.
She ached to rest her hand on his, lean into him and slide her hand gently around his neck, into his wet hair, and kiss him. She was sick with excitement, but sat frozen next to him.
He looked away.
Jenny finally spoke. "Well, I just wanted to see you."
"Yeah, and apparently every guy in the school wanted to see you tonight." Teased Troy.
She giggled, "That was ridiculous. The thought of going out with any of them...yeah, right. I am just so sick of stupid guys that don't matter." Her eyes found his.
Just say it or just do it. Just kiss him and end with "I love you and I always will."
"Really? No guys for a while, huh?"
"No, just no stupid idiot guys who just like my blond hair, blue eyes, and long legs...I can't believe I just said that! That was so conceited. Sorry!"
"It's true though." He said with a grin.
"I don't know if I should be insulted or flattered by that remark!" Exclaimed Jenny.
"Complimented." He said looking straight into her eyes.
Her heart beat impossibly faster. He did like her. He did.
"Whatever." She replied, never one to take a compliment well, "The attention was nice. I mean, Spencer Chase...remember my huge crush on him last year? But I -"
"Then go for it, " he interrupted. "He's obviously into you. You should go for it."
What was he saying? Go for it. He wanted her to date someone else?
"No, way, I don't want any of those guys. I am sick of dating. I want to be done with the whole thing."
"Sure", he said, his voice falling as he turned away.
No, that's not what I meant. I just want you, Troy. I just want you, forever.
"I didn't mean no dating. It's just..."
"What?" He looked at her, his eyes burning straight into her soul, sending new sensations down to her toes. "And don't say, I don't know."
"It's just," She began. "It's just..."
It was finally happening, but she didn't know where to begin. Suddenly, the rehearsed words she had gone over a thousand times were gone, lost in him. She didn't know what to say first.
Just kiss him.
She was inches from him, could feel the heat radiating from his body. She ached to feel him, to hold his hand, to lean in and kiss the man she wanted to be with forever. He held her gaze for a moment, waiting for her to finish her sentence. She picked up her hand to place on his when suddenly, a door slammed in front of them and a few players came filing out. Adam being one of them.
"Hey, Jenny? What are you still doing here" He asked. Then, instantly his face changed...then he smiled."Yeah, um, I forgot my bag. I'll leave you two alone."
Troy looked at Jenny quickly, then stood up.
The moment was completely over.
There were several other people in the parking lot now and Troy was standing up, obviously embarrassed by the "leave you two alone" comment.

Jenny was crushed. She wanted to pummel Adam.

"Hey, Jenny," Adam said, his glance going from Troy's to hers, trying to find a way to help his buddy out, "Tomorrow night we're watching movies at my house and hanging out. You should come. We'll, Troy and a few others, will be there."

She had always adored Adam.

"Really, you sure?" She grinned at him with absolute gratefulness.
She looked at Troy to see his reaction. He was looking at Adam as though he wanted to hug him.
"Definitely." Troy began, grinning. "You should come."
"I'll be there." Jenny smiled at Troy, then Adam, "but I don't know how to get to your house."
Before Troy or Jenny could offer a suggestion, Adam said, "Drive to HEB, wait for Troy to get off at 7, and then ya'll can drive together to my house."
Jenny and Troy both smiled at Adam and then looked at each other.
"I'll be there. 7. Tomorrow. The HEB parking lot." She said.
Troy smiled, and her heart skipped a beat.

There was no doubt about it. They were going to get back together. Tomorrow night.

Everything would happen tomorrow night.

Something there.

Jenny climbed out of her rusted-out car ironically named "Ruby," as she was anything but a precious gem. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and saw him walking towards her car.

There's nothing quite like it - A tingly feeling that races through your body, it shakes you. The heart does not simply race, but beats in a whole new way. Every beat bolder, harder, deeper than the one before it. At the first sight of him, a shot of energy, from some unknown force, courses through the veins. As eyes catch, if even for just a moment, a cool heat tingles down your spine and settles into the swarm of butterflies whirling within you. Its an unmatched emotion, new love.

She couldn't help but smile. He smiled back and Richard looked out of place. But, of course, he was most oblivious to the fact that he was in an awkward position. Instead of noticing that he was the most obtrusive third wheel in existence, he spoke first.
"Geez, Jenny. What the heck is up with your shoes? They're like four inch heels but boots...They make your feet look tiny."
"They are not Richard. Whatever." Jenny joked back. "They're just shoes like everyone else wears."
She glanced at Troy, who, was, of course, now looking at her shoes. Not exactly the focal point she had hoped for.
"You're right man. Good grief. You're almost as tall as me...and where did your feet go?" Troy commented, still looking at her very normal black boots, peeking from beneath her jeans.
All Jenny could do was laugh, toss her curly blond hair nervously and start walking across the street towards the theater. The boys followed still mocking her shoes and, now, how she walked. This wasn't exactly going how she planned.

Waterboy was the only movie option because their small hometown had one theater and that one theater had one screen and that one screen only showed one movie for a week at a time. They bought their tickets and headed in. As they made their way down the dark aisle, Jenny followed Troy. She watched him take those long easy strides, unhurried, confident. Her stomach felt all tied up inside. The boys chose an aisle. Troy went first, Jenny second, and, of course, the third wheel with his giant drink and giant popcorn filed in after Jenny.

As soon as they sat down, Richard began talking. And just wouldn't stop. He just rambled on and on. Fortunately, he was, indeed, funny...and entertaining, she had to admit. So she sat and laughed at him as she settled in quite comfortably to watch a movie that she had no desire to see.

That feeling of uncontrollable excitement was eating her alive. He was gorgeous and his smile, his lips, his eyes...she wanted to tell him everything. Everything wrong with every other guy and everything so very right with him. She wanted him to know that, even while feeling so jittery from all these renewed feelings, he put her completely at ease. Completely. But she didn't and couldn't. This wasn't the time or place and, she realized, as she watched him from the corner of his eye, he may not feel the same way.

That realization came as a crushing blow. She had thought about that a dozen times before, but that was before he nonchalantly sat beside her, and before he let his friend talk her ear off while he watched the previews, before he let Richard pay her way in.

He may not want her back.

Why would he? She had broken up with him twice. She had dated other complete jerks and dragged him through the ups and downs of each relationship. She had shunned him when told. Hadn't even called when he broke up with Crystal. And had to find out from another friend that he had joined the Army Reserves.

He didn't want her back.

She had called him. Practically forced him into the movie invitation...the butterflies swirling within her collided into a heap at the bottom of her gut. And then she got it. Richard. He...liked her. Troy was doing this for him.

She felt positively ill. She wanted Troy and only Troy. And now. Immediately. Forever.

The movie ended and while crammed in the small aisle on the way out, Troy asked, "Hey, you okay? I mean, you're not gonna like go home and cry all night or anything?" He said it with a teasing smile, but there was an undercurrent of concern.
"No." Jenny replied as she glanced up at him. She loved that she had to glance up at him. Even in silly boots. It made her feel...like a girl. "No, I'm good. Not great, but I'll make it. Its just..."
They caught eyes as her sentence cut off.
Holding her eyes in a deep stare, he questioned, "just what?"
"It's just, I don't know." She replied, dropping her gaze to the ground quickly, her heart rate quickening.
"God, I hate it when you do that." As he moved in front of her.
"What?" jenny demanded, a little shocked at the sudden change in his voice.
" 'It's just, I don't know.' " He mimicked. "Just say what you were going to say. You never do that. Just say what you want to say."
It's just that I love you. That I want to call you mine, feel you wrap your arms around me forever, go to school every day knowing that I get to sit with you at lunch, have you walk me to class. That I want to kiss you for the first time. I want to kiss you and love you and forget about what the world would do if we were together the day after Parker and I broke up. It's just that I love you. You really want me to say that here?

"It's just that I don't want to go to school tomorrow and be alone." She finally said, looking out at the empty street. They were outside by this time.
"Alone? You're never alone. You've got friends." He said quickly, still sounding a shade under annoyed.
"Yeah, but you know...it's weird. Who do I sit with at lunch or hang out with before school and all the stupid questions..."
He softened a bit. "We'll find you. Richard, Adam and I. And you can eat lunch with us."
"Really? Thanks. You know most of my friends now are his friends...so...it's just gonna be weird..."
"Yeah, well, they can get over it. It's not like you did anything wrong. The idiot broke up with you, so no one should treat you weird."
Jenny grinned. The idiot broke up with you. There was some major hope in that.
"You're right!" She agreed. There was a chance...
"And," Richard interrupted. She had forgotten he was even there. "Tomorrow's Troy's Basketball game, if you need something to do tomorrow. I'm going...so we could sit together and I'd protect you from all the idiot jerks."
Yep, something was definitely up with Richard. But watching Troy play basketball was a beyond brilliant idea.
Jenny smiled at Richard and as charming as Miss O'hara herself, she said, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

She turned to say goodbye to Troy, but he was already heading to the car. He tossed out a smiling bye and climbed in the car. She knew her face fell for a moment before forcing a cheery goodbye. Troy seemed so nonchalant...so painfully friendly. That's all she was to him anymore. A friend. And why not? He knew the details of every relationship. How could he let that go? She was his best friend, and that's all.

As Jenny climbed into her car, she wanted to cry. But she was sick of crying. She was sick of crying and giving up. She was going to fight for this. There had to be something there. There was. There had to be. It was in his eyes. His smile. There had to be something there...

She'd just tell him how she felt. She'd just do it. Tomorrow. After the game. She'd tell him and he'd smile that grin and she would feel his hand lace through hers and she could be Jenny once again. Tomorrow...

Moving Forward

Remember this?



It had been 6 months. 6 months with another boy when, without really a conversation, the relationship, a very serious one at that, dissolved with a small understanding shrug and a nod.

Jenny walked him to his beat up pick-up truck and, as they stood in the chilly November breeze, they kissed for the last time. He smiled, she nodded and it was over.

She couldn't ever really pinpoint when or how the relationship with Parker fell apart. It began with such pursuit on his part. After a heart wrenching relationship that ended in a kind of pain only one who has given too much of oneself away can understand, Jenny fell hard and fast for Parker's unashamed and flamboyant adoration. It began suddenly and from day one was a topsy-turvy type of affair. As quickly as he would adore her every move, he could turn on her for looking at the wrong person or wearing the wrong thing. It was, perhaps, this very drama that kept them together. That constant rise and fall of emotions tied them together. She fought to change him. He fought to stay unchanged.

The turning point was his injury during their junior year of highschool. In one play on the MFHS football field, his sports career was over before it began. It all went down hill from there. And as weeks passed into months, and slow tears turned into angry sobs, the relationship ended.

And Jenny was left standing alone under the giant Oak tree that had sheltered many goodnight kisses. But, she was not heartbroken. She was not even sad. She hurt. That hurt that comes when anything in life fades into another. That ache that fills the center of your chest when life moves on before you're ready. She hurt because she wanted to hurt, to look back, to remember. But it was time to move forward.

And Jenny knew exactly in what direction she wanted her forward to go. And as she stood there watching the tail lights fade into the chill of night, she smiled.

She wanted him back. She had to have him back. It was just a matter of how...


***


After Jenny broke up with Troy, again, the oddest thing happened. They kept talking. Immediately following the words, "I want to break up." their friendship began. If possible, they talked more after the downfall of "Jenny and Troy, part 2"than during it. And Jenny loved it.


They talked about everything - boys, girls, school, crushes, fears, dreams...everything. They hung out. They dated each other's friends (but very briefly) and it was wonderful. He was her absolute best friend and it stayed this way until her Sophomore year.

On another infamous Corpus trip, Jenny once again became smitten, but with another boy. Another boy completely. This short lived relationship all but destroyed Jenny. She hated herself and nearly everyone else because of him. Troy was the one she called when she couldn't call anyone else. He was there when Jenny wouldn't let anyone else be there.


When school started, life took over. Phone calls became less frequent and then she heard a rumor that Troy was dating someone. A girl named Crystal. And they were pretty serious. Jenny had little time to let this worry her, because she was being pursued by another. She told herself that they were just friends and that's all. That's all it would ever be again and she was fine with that. She really was...

They spoke occasionally. They called. They saw each other at youth group, but things were different. The school year went on into Christmas and by then Troy and Crystal were a well known couple, while Jenny shocked the school by going out with Parker, the wild running back for the JV team. They rarely spoke now because Parker didn't like Jenny talking to Troy. So, she didn't.

Slowly, it happened. That change in heart, a realization deep within her that something bigger was waiting. Something better. She was fighting feebly for a cause not worth the struggle. Parker was not right for her no matter how hard she tried to make him right for her.

Troy broke up with Crystal. She heard the news from a friend. She couldn't ignore the way her heart raced when she heard. He was free...but she wasn't.

***

When the tailights were gone from sight, she turned toward the house smiling. She knew exactly what to do next.

"Hey."
"Hey!" His voice sounded happy, surprised.
"It's over." Jenny stated. She didn't need to explain. He would know.
"Oh, man, I'm sorry." He replied, sounding genuinely bad for her.
"Yeah, well, me too, sort of. But I knew it was coming."
"Yeah."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well," he finally said, "What are you doing now?"
In a sigh sad enough to evoke the desired response, but not pity, Jenny said, "Oh, just trying to think of something to do besides think about it..."
"Well," he began.
Jenny smiled into the phone knowing that she was going to like what she heard next.
"Richard and I are going to see Waterboy at 8 if you wanna come. I mean, you don't have to, but you can, you know, to have something to do."
Well, that worked nicely. "Really? Are you sure? I don't want to annoy Richard or anything..."
"Yeah, right. Naw, come on. If you want."
"Cool! That sounds great. I'll meet you guys there. Hey, thanks."

They said their goodbyes and as she hung up the phone, Jenny smiled. She smiled a big grin that stretched across her face, that, no matter how hard she tried, wouldn't fade.


She smiled while she curled her hair. He always liked her curly hair. She smiled while she put on her make up and carefully chose what to wear. And as she walked down the stairs, she smiled because she knew this night would be the first completely fun night she'd had in a while.

***Why must I be a teenager in love?

Troy and Jenny had been the "it couple" of the younger half of the youth group for four months. Every moment they were in the same room, they were together, side by side. When they weren't together, they were on the phone. It was consuming.

Perhaps it was this that started a gradual change for Jenny. She couldn't explain it. But slowly, she just stopped feeling the same way about him. She missed her freedom. She missed her friends. She began to get annoyed with simple things he did. And perhaps more than all of this, the increasing attention of another young man began to tempt her 14 year old mind.

One day in November, Jenny got the mail as she often did. But on this day, there was a letter for her. There was no return address. She opened it slowly, read it carefully, trying to guess who it was from, only to turn it over and read the closing, "Your Friend, David." She paused, confused and surprised, and then, she smiled. It was nothing, really. The letter was just friendly, just about the things he had been doing and a new TV show he liked called "Friends."

She wrote David back that day. And it had begun. From this moment on, the slight annoyances and the hidden desire to end her relationship with Troy became intensified. Within about a month, she went from adoring his every breath to wanting it to all just go away. She just wanted it to be over. But that was certainly anything but easy.

She pretended everything was fine. She held his hand. She laughed at his jokes. And every night, when they spoke on the phone, she said, "I love you." And then she immediately hung up the phone and hated herself. She hated being so cowardly, so fake, so cruel. She felt trapped. She couldn't tell any of her friends. They still thought Troy was heavensent. And more than all of this, she hated herself for even wanting to break up with Troy. He had not changed. He still loved her just as much as the day he first told her so. He was kind, polite, funny, the guy who only a few short weeks ago, she adored. Jenny wished she could just go back in time and feel the way she did before. But she couldn't.

David and Jenny wrote letters to each other for two months. They remained friendly, nothing slightly romantic about them. But Jenny knew that he liked her. She knew it and it was so very exciting. Just like Corpus was. For Christmas he gave her a book on Disney animation because Jenny had told him she wanted to be an animator when she grew up. She loved it. And she knew what she had to do.

She knew she had to end it. There was nothing else she could do. She was lying to Troy, to her friends, to everyone. She just had to do it. But she couldn't do it. Every night she swore that this was the night she would just say it, "I want to break up." But then every night she would become weak and say, "I love you," hang up the phone and scream. She cried. She yelled. She wrote in her diary. She hated herself.

Finally, Jenny did the most cowardly thing she had ever done, or would ever do. She wrote him a letter. She explained herself the best she could, cried, read it, and reread it again and again, and sent it.

They didn't speak again. It was as if they were strangers. They would walk past each other and look the other way. It was like the previous six months were a dream. He hated her and he should have, Jenny thought. Even on the week long youth group trip to Colorado, they didn't speak once. They both pretended the other didn't exist. Jenny tried to convince herself that this was best, but it just felt wrong. But it was what it was.

David did ask Jenny out. He even asked her out with a ring. It was a James Avery gold band with two hearts and a flower on it. Jenny said yes and immediately regretted it. She didn't really like him. She liked the pursuit. She liked flirting and the challenge. She did not want a boyfriend. But she said yes because she didn't know what else to do. She had led him on. She had accepted his gifts and now, she was trapped again.

So Jenny did what any 14 year old girl would in her situation. She disappeared. She went to her family's ranch every chance she got, she avoided youth group, and she never answered the phone. Eventually, by some miracle, Jenny broke up with David face to face after about a two months of "dating" him. And just like that she had ruined another guy's life. She swore off all guys from this point on. It was just too hard and complicated. She would just be boyfriendless.

But then one night at youth group, about a month before the annual youth group trip to Corpus, a little game of keep away began, and for the first time in 6 months, she spoke to Troy.

***an answer

The Monday following Penny's slumber party was quite possibly the longest of Jenny's life as she waited almost breathlessly for the phone to ring. Part of her was dying to talk to Troy, part of her, a bigger part, was beyond nervous to talk to Troy. What would they talk about? What do boyfriends and girlfriends talk about? It was terrifyingly thrilling for Jenny. There was one small problem, of course. When Troy called, there was a good chance that someone other than Jenny would answer the phone. Jenny had never received a phone call from a boy before and so she knew this momentous occasion would have to be explained. Jenny decided to be proactive about it.
"Um, mom?" Jenny had timed this conversation so that her mom would be in the most receptive mood possible to hear the big news.
"Yeah, Jen." Her mom answered as she straightened the table for dinner.
"Well, um, yesterday...at Penny's...well, there is this guy, er, boy, um, Troy. He's in the youth group and goes to church..." Jenny did not know how to just spit out that a boy her mom and dad didn't even really know was suddenly her boyfriend. This was made increasingly complicated by the fact that Jenny didn't even know if she was actually allowed to have a boyfriend.
Jenny's mom was watching her with a little smile on her face.
"Well," Jenny continued. "Um, we kind of got to know each other in Corpus and at youth group and stuff...and yesterday, at Penny's party, he called and asked me to go with him."
She took a breath and then held it, terrified at what her mom's response may be.
"Oh?" She paused. "What does that mean, really, "going with him'? " Her mom asked much more calmly than Jenny had expected.
"Well," Jenny began and then suddenly realized she had no idea how to answer her question. She knew actually going on dates with Troy would be out of the question. And since they would only see each other at youth group and church, nothing about spending time with him would really change. She had no clue how to explain this to her mom.
"Um, I guess it means that he is my boyfriend." Jenny finally said.
"Boyfriend? That sounds pretty serious for a 13 year old."Her mom replied.
"Yeah, but it won't be like that." Jenny rushed, panicking that her mom might not allow her dream world to exist. "I mean we only see each other at youth group and church and it's not like we can drive to go on dates or anything. I mean, really, I guess it just means we will talk on the phone a lot, er, some."
"We'll have to meet him." Her mom said.
"Well, ya." Jenny said finally breathing.
"And, I'll have to talk to your dad about it."
"Okay." Jenny said relieved that she wasn't the one who had to tell her dad about this. That would almost have been enough for Jenny to call the whole thing off.
"It's not that big a deal, mom, really." Jenny lied. "It just means we like each other and that's all. "
"Okay, I guess this is fine. But, if at any point, it's not..." her mom's face turned deadly serious.
"I know. Believe me. Thanks, mom!" Jenny smiled, relieved that the conversation had ended so well.

Finally, in the late afternoon, the phone rang and Jenny answered, her stomach fluttering and hands shaking.
"Hello?"
"Um, hi, is Jenny there?" Troy said nervously.
"This is me, or she, I mean Jenny." Jenny fumbled hating herself.
"Oh, hey, it's Troy." Jenny heard him take a deep breath.
"Hi! I have been waiting on you to call. I thought maybe you got the wrong number somehow or something."
"No, I just didn't want to...no, I've just been busy, sort of." He tried to explain.
A pause followed and then, without even really trying, the conversation just fell from their mouths for hours. It was shy at first, just details of their day and what they were doing and then slowly the conversation turned to them, as a couple.

Secrets of their crushes were shared. Both disclosed when they had started liking the other and that the Corpus trip was when they both "knew." Troy explained that he had wanted to ask her out on the beach that last night but was too nervous. Jenny divulged that she was scared he was just being nice and didn't really like like her. It was a glorious 3 hour conversation.

It was these conversations that made up the relationship between Jenny and Troy. Jenny had unknowingly defined to perfection what the relationship would be when she told her mom that they would just talk on the phone a lot. Hours were spent on the phone every day and they shared every possible detail of their young lives - their thoughts, their wishes, their flaws, their dreams. They were impossibly innocent, spending hours sometimes just trying to ask something as simple as, "What do you like about me?" It was the answer to that question that would stay with Jenny forever. She could always recall where she was sitting in her bedroom and how his voice sounded when he answered her simple question.

"Okay, so finally, I have figured out your question." Troy replied, almost audibly grinning on the other end of the phone.
"Yep." Jenny replied, feeling stupid and vain having asked such a bold question.
"Well," Troy hesitated only for a moment which made Jenny think that he wasn't trying to think of an answer as much as how to say it. "I like your laugh. I like your curly hair and the way we can talk forever and, well, you are - the girls at school are so fake, so covered in hairspray and makeup and everything, and you, you are so naturally beautiful and real."
To a 13 year old girl who had always felt awkward and never as good as the girl next to her, this answer was perfection. It was an answer that she would replay in her mind for years to come when other guys would beat her down. It was the answer she would cling to when she felt stupid or ugly or not good enough. It was the answer she would replay in her mind again and again when her heart was broken by life. It never bothered Jenny that his answer was about her looks because she knew it wasn't. She could tell, even in her young mind, that his answer was about all of her, inside and out. And the way he said it was so definite, so certain, so kind. He wasn't a boy trying to flatter a girl. He was simply telling a girl why she was the one.

It was dozens of moments similar to that conversation that eventually led Jenny and Troy to say "I love you." It was, Jenny knew, ridiculous to be saying something like this at her age but she felt it, or truly thought she did. And she knew he did too. They knew each other better than anyone did at that point in their lives. They were best friends. They talked far more than they ever saw each other and it was because of this that they fell so truly in love with each other. It was an innocent time for them and without the ability to see each other often, there were no physical complications. Holding hands was the most intimate physical contact they shared. Jenny poured into her diary a moment by moment replay of the first night they held hands. Pinkies touched, fingers curled around each other, and, finally, hands were laced together. It "felt like my hand were made to be held by his" she wrote. They were, unashamedly and blindly, in love, or at least what they thought was love.

They did go on several "dates." He took her to homecoming where she met his friends for the first time. She loved how proud he was to be sitting by her amidst all his public school friends. They went to several movies, the first being "Nine Months" as her parents sat behind them. It would be the most horribly awkward date of her life as they sat as far apart from each other as they could and shrunk in their seats during this movie about pregnancy. In every one's defense, Jenny and Troy's hometown had only one theater that showed the same movie for up to two weeks at a time. There weren't a lot of choices. They attended youth group and every event related to it faithfully. If they were in the same room, they were together, inseparable. They were Jenny and Troy.

But then, something began to change. Slowly, something, some part of them began to change. Neither expected it or even wanted it, but change came, nonetheless.

When we get back

Jenny was right. She and Troy were never alone again on the beach, or anywhere for that matter. Before she knew it, condos were cleared out, bags were loaded, and the youth group caravan was returning to home. Since their moment on the beach, Jenny and Troy had hardly even been together. She was, needless to say, beyond disappointed when the cars pulled into the church parking lot as the trip came to a definite end.

They returned on a Friday. Jenny spent that day and the next filling the pages of her diary with all the details of the fantastic trip as she listened to her Celine Dion CD on repeat. For years, every song on that album could return her instantly to the shores of Padre. She relived every moment. Doing what most teenage girls do with any encounter with the opposite sex, she analyzed and disected every moment, looking for proof of his adoration of her. She found many. As she was pouring out her heart and soul, she wished the phone would ring and it would be him. They had never spoken on the phone, so she knew this was highly unlikely but still, every time the phone would ring, her heart would stop for a moment hoping it was him. It never was.

Sunday, at long last, arrived. Jenny spent extra time getting ready, trying to look her absolute best for Troy. She also packed her bags for a slumber party that Penny was throwing in honor of her 14th birthday. She was thrilled about the slumber party because she had so much to share with her friends and she was pretty certain they were going to a special youth group gathering at Joe's that evening. Troy would be there. Maybe they would finish the conversation they had started on the beach.

Church was a bitter disappointment because Troy was not there. Jenny feared that he would not be at youth group either which would be all the more devastating because that would mean that she would not see him again for a week, at least. That would be terrible. Jenny felt certain that whatever was happening between them, as small as it was, would fade away into casual flirting unless something real were to happen between them very soon. He just had to be there. He just had to.

Finally, church ended, lunch followed and the slumber party began. It was at Penny's house of course and she had the best house for slumber parties. Her parents, while her dad was the pastor of their church, were super cool and laid back. Her older brother Jonathan was cool too and teased the girls just enough to be funny not obnoxious. And her house, like all her friends houses, felt like a second home. All her friends, as long as she had known them, had lived in the same house so each one really did feel like a home to her.

The slumber party was moving at a turtles pace all afternoon. It was painful. The girls were having a blast but all Jenny could think about was seeing Troy. It felt as though 6 pm would never arrive. Finally, finally, after what seemed like an eternity of girl talk and playing sardines, all five girls loaded into van and Jonathan was driving them to Joe's.

Jenny was beyond nervous in the car. Her hands were even shaking which made her feel absolutely ridiculous. She couldn't eat a thing at Penny's because her stomach was so tied in knots. As they approached Joe's house, Jenny felt just short of faint. She had built this moment up so much in her mind that there was no calming her down. She knew this was stupid, but could do nothing to help herself. All the girls bounded into the house and Jenny quickly scanned the room. No Troy. Nowhere. He was not there. The disappointment was consuming, but was somewhat shortlived. She and the others quickly formed a game of spoons and, before she knew it, all thoughts of Troy vanished as she focused wholeheartedly on trying to get a spoon before the others. She was deep in the game when, suddenly, the door opened and in came Troy and his friend Matt. At that exact moment, someone grabbed a spoon. Jenny was so caught off guard by Troy's sudden appearance, that she not only didn't get a spoon but didnt' even try. This resulted in merciless teasing, loud teasing, that made Jenny and Troy blush because they both knew what everyone was thinking. It was, to Jenny, horrifying. But Troy was there.

The rest of the evening was rather uneventful. The most sustained interaction between Jenny and Troy was the tossing of a spoon back and forth at each other. And, they sat beside each other on the couch for about two seconds. But that was it.

Much to Jenny's disappointment, the slumber party crowd left long before the party was over. When they arrived back at Penny's, they put on their PJ's, popped in a movie and stuffed their faces with Starburst and popcorn. Then the phone rang.

Jenny knew the moment the phone rang who it was. She didn't know how she knew, but she did. Her heart stopped as her stomach dropped to her feet. It was like all the girls knew because all began giggling and raced to Jonathan's door to listen.
"You want to talk to Jenny? Okay....." Jonathan's conversation became mumbled as all the girls let out a collective scream and Jenny became shaky.
Jonathan opened the door a few moments later and laughed at all the girls huddled outside his door.
"Um, Jenny, it's for you." He said with a grin.
Jenny was almost unable to take the phone. She was shaking and her friends were all giggling and screaming around her. She took the phone and went into Jonathan's room. By some miracle, all her friends stayed outside and she sat down on a weight bench. She took as deep a breath as she could, lifted the phone to her ear, and said, "Hello."
"Hi, Jenny, it's Cristy! Are you okay? Are you ready for this?" Cristy asked with a million voices rambling in the background.
Surprised at hearing Cristy's voice and not Troy's, Jenny didn't really know what to say.
"Um, yeah, I think..." she managed to stutter.
"Okay, here's Troy!" Cristy said.
Jenny heard whispers and the shuffling of the phone being passed. Her heart pounded in her ears as she waited for his voice.
"Hi. Jenny?" Troy started.
"Yes?" Jenny managed to squeak out.
"Um, hi, well, I was calling, well they wanted me to call because, well, I mean I wanted to call you but...anyway, I had a great time with you in Corpus..."
When he paused, Jenny didn't know if she should interrupt him or let him finish. Finally, she said, "Me too. I mean, I had a great time with you."
"Good," Troy sounded a bit relieved, "well, I just really had a good time and I...I... really like you. I like you and hanging out with you and I just really had a good time in Corpus..."
"Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Jenny felt like she was watching herself in a movie.
"And I was wondering...I really like you and I was wondering if you would go with me?"
"Yes! Yes, of course. I would love to. Really." Jenny rushed, barely breathing.
She heard Troy take a deep breath and could tell he was smiling.
"Great. Okay, well...thanks. I guess I will call you...tomorrow?"
"Okay, yeah, that's great." Jenny had no clue what to say next.
"Um, well, Jeremy wants to talk to Jamie."
"Oh, okay. Well, bye." Jenny said unsure of how to end such a monumental conversation.
"Yeah, talk to ya tomorrow. Bye." Troy replied.
Then, Jenny, more floating than walking, opened the door of Jonathan's room and handed the phone to Jamie. She was flooded with questions and giggles as Jamie ran into Jonathan's room.

Jenny could not tell you anything that happened for the rest of the slumber party. There was a movie and some food and she managed to tell all her friends the details of her life changing conversation, but the only detail she could recall from July 30th, 1995 was the fact that Troy, a boy, the boy she adored, had asked her to be his girlfriend. It was the best thing that could have ever happened in her 13 year old world.

What Jenny didn't know is the impact that five minute conversation would have on the rest of her life. No one could have known. That young, fumbling conversation sparked a relationship that would forever change their world, their future, them. The relationship would change and grow and fade but it would define them both, shaping them into the people they would one day become, both alone and together. Troy's simple question and Jenny's simple answer was the beginning of their story.

Sea Treasure

Jenny wasn't quite sure how it happened. She couldn't believe it had happened. And she knew, that it would never happen again. In the midst of 25 other friends, Jenny and Troy were alone. Somehow, a walk along the beach with friends had turned into the two of them alone as each of the other travelers peeled off from the group running and splashing in the distance ahead.

The remaining glow from the setting sun had painted the sky with a dull purplish river and the roar of the waves had become a serene whisper creating a peaceful tranquility only found on the beach as sunset meets twilight. Cool waves splashing at their bare feet, Jenny and Troy strolled slowly side by side down the beach.

Jenny, for once, was comfortable with their frequent moments of silence. She did not feel the usual panic to grope her mind for something clever or cute to say. Instead, they just walked, eyes on the ground reaching for an occasional shell that had washed ashore. They would show each other their treasures before deciding to keep them or toss them. It was a moment of perfection for Jenny. It was the first time Jenny really looked at Troy. Every other time they had been together, there was always some distraction - a game, friends, Jenny trying to perfect her flirting. Now, it was just them, alone. She glanced at him, trying to remember every detail of this moment so that she could pour it out into her diary later. His hair was blond and wavy, ever more attractive when it was wet and messy. His smile was always so casual and easy, like he should have one hand in a pocket and tux jacket thrown over his shoulder. The way he would smile at her, made her feel perfect. Not better, not different, but perfect in her own imperfections. Jenny soaked in every detail trying to remember them all, but knowing perhaps the only one that would stay forever were his eyes. His eyes were a blue like nothing Jenny had ever seen, like the blue of the ocean you can see straight to the bottom of. And when he would laugh at her, truly laugh at her because of something she said or did, they would squint up and dance. Jenny knew she could spend the rest of her life trying to make his eyes look just like that.

As Jenny looked at him, careful not to appear as though she was looking at him, he gradually slowed down, turning to face the beach. She stopped beside him and they both stood there looking out at the endless ocean while their feet became buried in the wet sand with each incoming wave. They joked casually about being buried from head to toe and how long that could take. Then they began discussing how great the trip had been.
"I can't believe we leave tomorrow." Jenny said.
"I know. What a quick four days..." Troy trailed off.
"It's been so fun and, well, I am so glad that you have just accepted that I am better at Shuffleboard than you." Jenny joked.
He smiled. "Whatever. Better at shuffleboard. Yeah."
There was a pause as Troy bent down to pick up a shell that had washed up to his feet. It was a small gray scallop. He looked at it for a second and then held out the shell in his hand for Jenny.
"Here, something to remember the trip by. You can put it with all those other things you keep saving."
"Thanks." Jenny said quietly as she took the shell from his fingertips, her hand grazing his. "I will. I have this whole collection of things...for a scrapbook maybe...and plus, I just like collecting things...."Jenny rushed on, for the first time feeling slightly nervous about things. She was trying to set her feet free when Troy interrupted her rambling.
"Um, I've really had a great time here...I mean, with you...."
Jenny looked up at him only to see him looking at the ground.
"And...well, it's just been fun, you know? Hanging out..."
He looked at her. Jenny's heart was beating. He was trying to say he liked her. Right here on this beach. When he paused, Jenny cut in. "I know! It has been fun and...I can't believe tomorrow it is over...I mean, the trip, not...well, the fun..."
"What was that! Seriously, say something to make him say more." Jenny thought to herself.
"I have had fun with you too..." She rushed.
"Say something else! Say something else!" Her mind panicked.
"and thanks for the shell."
"Thanks for the shell! Oh, please, Jenny, just stop talking." She hated herself in that moment.
Finally, Troy smiled. Jenny breathed.
"Um, I was wondering something...I mean, I don't know if...well, it's been fun and you are...well, I was wondering if maybe when we get back-"
"Hey, Jenny!" Aaron, her brother's friend, shouted running at them. He grabbed Jenny by the waist and spun her around before plopping her down a few feet from Troy. A loud group was right behind Aaron, and before she knew it, Troy was being recruited for a game of Capture the Flag and her friends were begging her to go to the pool. They looked at each other for a brief moment and then went their separate ways. But Jenny could swear she saw a look of disappointment and regret on his face as he walked away.

Jenny looked down at the shell in her hand. He liked her. He did. There was no doubt. He was about to say so but couldn't. As she was dragged to the pool with her friends, she replayed every word he said. When we get back... what did that mean? Hanging out more, would things change, a date...? She would just have to find out, but she feared that would not happen until much later. That moment on the beach was too perfect. Who knows when, if ever, they would be alone again. Stupid Aaron. Ruining everything.

When we get back...

Apollo Something

The drive to the movie theater was painfully long. Despite the ever growing presence of Troy and David, they were never able to ride in the car with Jenny. This worried her now because if there was going to be any chance of them sitting near her in the movie, the events leading up to this monumental event would have to be perfectly timed. Her friends, while they knew of her crush did not understand the magnitude of its power. They just assumed they would be sitting together, but Jenny had other plans. She would have to somehow manage to sit down without them but in the presence of Troy and David, but do this in such a way that it seemed completely unplanned. This would be nothing short of impossible.

Walking up to the concession stand with her friends, Jenny heard the approaching steps of Troy and David. Suddenly she felt her arm pinched twice.
"Ow!" She smiled turning to face them, "What was that for?"
"Michigan and Florida."
"Oh!" Jenny grinned, pleased that the boys had remembered the license plate game she had mentioned the previous day.
"In that case," Jenny grinned as she pinched them both, "Kansas." And she pointed to a red jeep in the parking lot.
She was unbelievably proud of herself for managing to be so...cool. She knew she had played that one well. The guys laughed and went to the next line over while Jenny and her friends placed their orders.

As she, Jamie, Penny, and Hannah were walking into the theater, Jamie said, "Let's go to the bathroom." as she led the group in that direction. Jenny was torn. She desperately wanted to check her hair and make-up to make sure she was at her best, but she saw Troy and David approaching. Maybe if she went in alone, and sat down alone, they would sit beside her. This was the best chance she had. It was now or never.
"Um, I'm good. I'll just see you guys in there." She said casually.
The other girls stopped and stared as though she had just committed treason.
"You don't want to go to the bathroom? With us?" Hannah asked with a look of disbelief.
"Um, no, I just went and, um, well, I'll get good seats..." Jenny answered quickly as she saw David and Troy approaching the theater doors.
The other girls, still with looks of confusion on their faces, finally turned to go to the bathroom and Jenny rushed in ahead of Troy and David.

She scoped out the theater. Most of the youth group was sitting in the middle section and she definitely wanted to be in the main group of people. She saw a half empty row behind her brother and his friends. She climbed the steps and sat down about five seats from the end. Troy and David came in next. Jenny took a deep breath. Surely, one would sit by her or near her or something. When Jenny caught Troy's eye, she smiled casually and looked back at the screen. They knew where she was. They clowned their way up the steps, two rows away, one row away, her row. Jenny was breathless.
David paused, saying something to Troy as they looked at her.
The next thing she knew, both of them were racing towards her with huge grins.
"Oklahoma!" Troy pinched her. "We just found it in the parking lot."
This was heaven. They not only liked the game she told them about, but had actually gone back outside to search for an out of state license plate so they could pinch her.
"Oh, sure, cheaters! I am so sure you actually went back out to the parking lot. And if you are cheating, you know I get to pinch you twice!" Jenny quipped hoping to sustain the conversation long enough to get them to sit down.
"Fine, we'll show you when this is over. Cheaters. Can't believe you called us cheaters." David said with a look of pretend shock.
Then it happened. David sat down on her left as casually as though they were by the pool and Troy sat next to him. Jenny felt a moment of victory and then disappointment. Troy was not beside her. It was actually the worst place he could sit because she couldn't even stare at him as the movie played. She would have to spend the next two hours without any Troy interaction. The disappointment was consuming. She wished above all else that she had at least one ounce of the guts it would take to suggest that he sit by her, but she could never, ever do something like that. She consoled herself with the fact that David was by her and that Troy maybe wanted to sit by her but was too shy, or too nervous, or didn't want to leave David, or something.

A few minutes later Jenny's friends came in. They saw her next to David and Troy and all started whispering. She watched as they came up the stairs on the other side. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jeremy, Jamie's crush, rushed up to the row where Jenny sat and shouted, "Hey, Troy, sit by Jenny so I can sit by you and Jamie."

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." Jenny's heart pounded. "Please move, please move."
Troy stood up, crossed in front of her and sat down slowly, without saying a word. The smell of the shampoo from his still wet hair made Jenny's heart race and she immediately lost her appetite for the Junior Mints already melting in her hot hands. Jeremy and Jamie came loudly down the aisle followed by the rest of her friends. The two girlfriends grinned at each other with unconstrained joy.

It was divine. The entire movie, Apollo 13, was divine. Two boys were sitting by her. Besides a few minor comments on the movie, nothing was said or done for the duration of the film, but that didn't matter. Jenny never expected anything to actually happen. Her daydreams had never gotten past the point of Troy sitting by her. She just wanted to sit by him because for some reason, the act of him sitting by her, meant that her feelings of infatuation might be shared. Troy, and now David, liked her. She just knew it.

On the ride home, after the boys proved they weren't cheaters, the girls were aching to dish every detail of the movie, but Jamie's very strict dad was driving. The silence gave Jenny time to relive the afternoon's events again and again. Slowly, something started to eat at her.

David sat down by her first. And then Troy sat down by him. He only moved when he was asked, or, rather commanded to by Jeremy. And when he did sit, he was quiet and hardly looked at her. What if he didn't like her? What if David really liked her and because Troy was his friend, he just played along? What if Troy was just a good friend putting up with a friend's crush the way Jenny put up with Jeremy? No, no, he had to like her. Jenny replayed every moment with Troy in her mind. He liked to try to dunk her in the pool. He teased her about how she said sandwich. He would sit by her at meals...but maybe that was because it was just an empty seat. Maybe he just liked to dunk her because, well, it was an easy kill. And she did say sandwich weird and everybody teased her about that. What if all the details that Jenny had been gathering up and treasuring as signs of his affection, were nothing short of...nothing? By the time they reached the condo, Jenny knew Troy could not like her. And there was only one more night at the beach. Tomorrow, they were leaving. That thought and her new found realization about Troy was tragic.

Not one to be down for long, Jenny cheered herself up with the thought that the last night of the trip had extra free time scheduled in. Perhaps something of monumental importance could happen then. And if nothing else, two boys, regardless of how it happened, sat by her during the movie. That was enough to make Jenny smile. That was a Scarlet O'hara like victory.

Jenny smiled to herself as she climbed out of the minivan right next to a taurus from New Mexico. She turned around to find Troy or David only to see them running at her. The chase was on. After a hysterical race up the condo stairs, Jenny was pinched twice and knew that the last night in Corpus would be one to remember.

Below is the second installment

Since I have time now, I thought I would continue the saga. I will pick up the pace soon because I am going to run out of details. And its gonna get good about two posts from now. :)

Flirting Heaven

"Okay, guys, gather around so you know what car you will be in for the drive to Padre." The youth pastor shouted.
"Please, please, pleeeeaaaase, let me be in a good car." And by good car, Jenny meant one with a boy, and a few friends. Of course, Troy would be the boy of choice, but Jenny did not expect miracles.
"In Mrs. Lofton's van, we have Troy, Matt, David and Matt C."
Despite expecting such an outcome, Jenny was crushed. She could only imagine how glorious 5 hours confined in a minivan with Troy would be.
"Jenny, Penny, Hannah and Tim you are in the English's van."
"Tim! That's the guy we get? Oh, please. Seriously, it might as well be another girl in the car."
Jenny had known Tim forever and while he had hopelessly crushed on about every girl in the church, he was never successful. He was just too much like a brother(or sister) to them all.
"Oh, well, at least I have two friends with me." Jenny sighed as they crammed their stuff into the English's blue van. She watched as Troy and Matt threw their stuff into the Mrs. Lofton's teal green minivan, clowned their way in, and slammed the door shut.

The ride was rather uneventful, just girl talk which had to be closely monitored due to the eavesdropping ears of Tim. Jenny spent most of the trip daydreaming about things she wished would happen on the trip - walks on the beach, keep away in the pool, beating boys at shuffleboard(this was dreaming at its best), and maybe sitting next to Troy at the movie scheduled for Thursday. That last wish was, Jenny knew, never going to happen. Even if miracles occurred and Troy would actually attempt to sit by her, her friends would have already surrounded her on all sides. But still, Jenny dreamed of this impossibility endlessly.

Before long, the youth group caravan arrived at the hotel on the beach and were divided into their condos. Jenny loved who she was with - Jamie, Hannah, Penny and Jessica. All were her friends and all were fantastic. While Hannah, Jessica and Penny had crushes, even if they were secret most of the time, Jamie was never one to keep details of her romantic dreams to herself. Jenny knew they would be giggling and whispering into the night about boys despite the frustration of the others. She just hoped some of the whispering would be about her and Troy.

As most youth group trips go, there were events planned for every minute of the day - bible studies, worship time, beach time, pool time, trips to putt - putt, meal time, competitions, game time, and free time. And as each hour passed Jenny, despite trying her hardest to not get excited, couldn't help but get excited about how much time she and Troy were spending together. If she and Jamie were playing shuffleboard, he and a friend would join in. If the guys were playing keep away in the pool and she tried to join in, it was Troy that she would always "cover." When they went to the beach, they were often shell searching together. And no matter what, every time he was around her, her heart raced, her stomach was in knots, and she was smiling and laughing. She loved to be with him. She felt beautiful and funny and perfect when with him. It was becoming obvious that perhaps, just maybe, in a teeny tiny way, he liked her too.

There was just one problem. David. David was another guy on the trip, older, dark haired, nice, funny and equally attentive to Jenny. Jenny had never really paid much attention to him because she didn't think it was a possibility. He was more her brother's friend, than her potential boyfriend. But, in Corpus, he was with her almost as much as Troy. Her friends teased her endlessly about having two guys "in love" with her. She would just giggle and say, "oh, please, they're just being nice." but deep down, she loved the attention. Loved it, searching it out, finding Troy and David whenever possible and then giggling her way through whatever they were doing. And surprisingly, the boys didn't seem to mind her constant presence. Jenny, always terrified that she was annoying someone or was an unwanted presence to most, would pay close attention to the way they would act when they saw her coming. It was clear her presence was welcome.

Two boys liked her. Maybe they didn't "like" her but they liked her enough to fulfill her expectation that Corpus was going to be pure flirting heaven. Now, Jenny had a completely new and totally unexpected dilemma to consume her thoughts. If both boys did indeed like her, really like like her, then who would it be? Who did she really like? She didn't let it worry her too much because she really didn't think they liked her in that way, but just enjoyed being around her. Besides, who has time to worry about such things when flirting the days away on a beach? She would just enjoy the trip and hope for the best...especially at the movie on Thursday. Maybe, just maybe...

The beginning

Jenny had never had a boyfriend. Many, many crushes but never a boyfriend. Honestly, she wasn't even certain that she was allowed to have a boyfriend. That discussion had not yet taken place with her parents. Besides, what would a boyfriend really mean to a 13 year old who was homeschooled? Nothing more than a title really. Of course, Jenny did not envision boyfriend/girlfriendhood in these terms. To her 13 year old mind having a boyfriend meant a multitude of things - Dates, holding hands, phone calls, someone to hang out with at youth group, and, though she would never have said this aloud, an important first among her friends. None of them had ever had a boyfriend either and to have a boyfriend before any of them would be simply fantastic. But she would never let her friends know for a second that she would be proud of such an accomplishment.

Unfortunately, simply dreaming of a boyfriend did not get one. Flirting, Jenny had discovered, was an art to be mastered. Flirting worked. She saw the success of its powers as many a girl giggled their way into the affections of her older brother Josh. Her flirting guide was Gone with the Wind. Scarlet O'hara emobodied the confidence Jenny dreamed of having. She would never admit to a soul that she actually admired any part of this selfish, conniving fictitious character...but she did. And Jenny picked up a few things from this civil war belle. In short, giggling, flattery, and being a "lady", were the keys to success. Shy girls did not get the guy, at least not the right ones. And Jenny had her eyes set on the right guy, for sure.

Troy, 14, was a public schooler, tall, blonde and had an easy smile that made Jenny giggle whenever in his presence. And while his looks were definitely an appealing point, his personality was the clincher. Everyone loved him. Girls flocked towards him, all the guys were his friend. He was in every meaning of the word popular, but did not think it for a moment. He was just himself. This attribute was particularly appealing to Jenny. There was something in her that, even when trying to perfect the flirting, could not help but be herself around him. His easy smile and the way he would look at her somehow made her feel like he still liked her, the real Jenny that would sneak out despite her best efforts.

Of course, Jenny, would never in her wildest dreams imagine for a second that he actually did like her, for real. That would be impossible. She was shy, dorky, silly, and so...so...boring. Simple, really. And Troy was everything but that. He was, in her eyes, perfect. Perfect. Her diary was filled with all the perfect details of the things he wore or did or said to her on her favorite day of the week, Sunday, the only day of the week she saw him. They were certainly holy days, those Sundays.

Then it happened. Four days of Sundays. The annual youth group trip to Corpus Christi. It would be pure joy. Four days, on the beach, with Troy. It was going to be heaven, pure flirting heaven.