A miracle happened today in my classroom. Well, actually, I guess it happened yesterday but nonetheless it happened.
I gave my students the 2006 writing TAKS test so I could best determine where we were and what I could expect on the 20th. Today, I ran the scantrons(the best gift God could give to a teacher). Usually the scantron machine sounds like a firing range as each scantron is sucked through because it makes this godawful "errrrk" noise every time a question is missed. Teachers can often be seen by the scantron machine writhing in pain as if the machine was indeed firing shots straight to the heart. That machine holds so much power. It can make us feel like the creator of brilliance or the perfector of stupidity. Today I was the creator of brilliance. Each of my students' scantrons slid through with an eery silence. The only sound on most was the sound of the 100% being printed at the very end. Of the 120 or so students whose scantrons I ran through, only ONE student failed and that was only with a 60. It was a true TAKS miracle.
Maybe I am not a terrible teacher. Maybe they will pass. But even if they don't they are really doing their best. And, as a teacher, nothing makes me happier.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentines Day, Sweety!
Happy Valentines Day, Troy! I hope you will check the blog today.
I love you so very much and am so glad that for the last decade you have been the love of my life. You make me happier than I could have ever imagined. I love that you make me laugh, and make me feel silly and smart and beautiful and sexy. I love you. Thank you for being my valentine, sugarmonkey.
Love, Sugarmomma
I love you so very much and am so glad that for the last decade you have been the love of my life. You make me happier than I could have ever imagined. I love that you make me laugh, and make me feel silly and smart and beautiful and sexy. I love you. Thank you for being my valentine, sugarmonkey.
Love, Sugarmomma
Tired
I am sitting at my desk at school at 7:15 this morning, only my lamp on and Christian music playing on my CD player. It is very peaceful. I am trying to not think about the 130 students who are about to flow in and out of my room today. I am so tired of it all right now. Tired of teaching, grading, students, TAKS test, being exhausted when I get home. I just want so desperately to stay at home, to just be wife and mom. I am tired of giving Troy and Mason what is left of me at the end of the day. Please, God, help something to happen so can stay home. Please. I am tired.
I do like my job. I do. I like my students (most days) and I like the fact that I have a job that really matters. Teachers are so important to the world today because we are practically raising most kids. I like that I am good at my job. I like my job. But it is not what I want to do right now. I miss my family. I miss my son and now that this new baby is on the way, I have to stay at home. I just have to. Or at least get a part time job. Something. Something has to change.
I do like my job. I do. I like my students (most days) and I like the fact that I have a job that really matters. Teachers are so important to the world today because we are practically raising most kids. I like that I am good at my job. I like my job. But it is not what I want to do right now. I miss my family. I miss my son and now that this new baby is on the way, I have to stay at home. I just have to. Or at least get a part time job. Something. Something has to change.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Fetal Yolk Sack???
Okay, so we had our appt.
When I called to tell my doctor, or the receptionist for my doctor, that I was pregnant, they immediately scheduled me for an appt not a week later. I thought that was a little odd because I knew I couldn't be much further along than 4 weeks but I trusted the Doctor.
This morning I was at the office at 7:45 and waiting. We went in the room and after a rather unpleasant probing experience all we saw was a fetal yolk sack. What is that? Pregnancy is so weird. It makes a normally confident person terrified to ask any questions for fear of looking like an idiot or worse yet, a bad mother. So I didn't ask. We didn't hear a heart beat but everything looked normal and fine, said the nurse. So she rescheduled me for next Wednesday. But I am for sure pregnant. Based on the fetal yolk sack thing....
I am pregnant. I am going to have another baby to hold and love and nurse and teach. I am so excited.
When I called to tell my doctor, or the receptionist for my doctor, that I was pregnant, they immediately scheduled me for an appt not a week later. I thought that was a little odd because I knew I couldn't be much further along than 4 weeks but I trusted the Doctor.
This morning I was at the office at 7:45 and waiting. We went in the room and after a rather unpleasant probing experience all we saw was a fetal yolk sack. What is that? Pregnancy is so weird. It makes a normally confident person terrified to ask any questions for fear of looking like an idiot or worse yet, a bad mother. So I didn't ask. We didn't hear a heart beat but everything looked normal and fine, said the nurse. So she rescheduled me for next Wednesday. But I am for sure pregnant. Based on the fetal yolk sack thing....
I am pregnant. I am going to have another baby to hold and love and nurse and teach. I am so excited.
Ellie
My new friend, Sarah, had her first baby today, Elizabeth Claire, or Ellie. Rumor is she is beautiful and perfect. I believe that rumor with my whole heart. Mom is doing well and Aunt Kylah is dying to drive to see her first neice. But has to wait until Thursday, poor thing.
I, of course, being newly pregnant am beyond excited and can't wait until the new baby and mommy head this way for the wedding. I can't wait to meet this fresh bit of heaven.
I, of course, being newly pregnant am beyond excited and can't wait until the new baby and mommy head this way for the wedding. I can't wait to meet this fresh bit of heaven.
The beginning of a beautiful thing
Today is my first prenatal check up and I am so excited. I, for whatever reason, don't "feel" pregnant. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't want to get too excited just from peeing on a stick. So hopefully today the doctor will tell me I am pregnant for sure and that everything is wonderful and perfect because I desperately want to start telling people. I am about to die!!! I can't contain the excitement any longer.
See, with Mason everything was a surprise. He was this wonderful surprise that God plucked from heaven to give to us. We were not prepared, no one saw it coming. Everything was so different. THis time around I made the mistake of telling people we were trying. I wouldn't just walk up to people and tell them but if they asked, I gladly gave them information. So people constantly asking, "Are you pregnant yet?" got old pretty fast. I just can't wait to tell all those people that yes, I am pregnant, and yes Mason will finally be an older brother.
I hope the appointment goes well. Only 53 minutes....
See, with Mason everything was a surprise. He was this wonderful surprise that God plucked from heaven to give to us. We were not prepared, no one saw it coming. Everything was so different. THis time around I made the mistake of telling people we were trying. I wouldn't just walk up to people and tell them but if they asked, I gladly gave them information. So people constantly asking, "Are you pregnant yet?" got old pretty fast. I just can't wait to tell all those people that yes, I am pregnant, and yes Mason will finally be an older brother.
I hope the appointment goes well. Only 53 minutes....
Monday, February 12, 2007
Oh, Baby!
Well, it finally happened. After 7 months of trying, 7 months of trying to create what seemed to create itself the first time around, we are pregnant! We will soon be a family of four.
On Wednesday, Mason had pink eye so I stayed home from school. This is the perfect "sick" for a kid to get. Sick enough for me to take off. Not so sick that we are both miserable. It was a supremely beatiful day that tricked me into thinking spring might be upon us. It was a perfect day.
Since my period had been absent for 41 days, I was thinking maybe...but no...too many times this year my hopes had been dashed and I refused to get excited. When Mason and I went grocery shopping, I tossed a pregnancy test in the basket with the thought that I would again be wasting grocery money. Despite all my doubt, when we got home I didn't even put the milk away before I took the test.
I peeled the wrapper from the test, peed on it the exact amount of time it said and placed the test gently on the floor. Then I left. I left the bathroom, walked to the kitchen, looked at the groceries and immediately returned to the test. And there it was. The plus sign. Bright blue and bold. There were no doubts. I was pregnant at last!
Mason was standing right there and when I freaked out he said, "What is it, Momma?"
I replied, "Oh, momma is just excited about something."
And then he floored me when he asked the next question.
"Does it mean you have a baby in your tummy?"
How did he know that? How? I said yes and then he grinned that big toothy grin of his and hugged my neck. We both just sat there next to the potty, celebrating the conception of another blondeheaded Wilde.
Troy was at work while all this excitement was going down so we had to think of a cute way to tell him...Troy came home around 12:30. I acted as normal as I could and then told him Mason had a surprise for him. (Mason always has surprises for us so Troy almost boredly played along.) Then I covered his eyes and Mason handed him a pair of baby socks. Troy looked confused and asked, "What are those for?"
"For the baby." Mason replied.
"What bab--- Is mommy pregnant?!"
"Yes" I answered.
Then he turned around with that little boy grin of his and said, "Really!?" I nodded and we kissed and hugged and then we hugged Mason and then we all kissed again.
Like I said, it was the perfect day.
On Wednesday, Mason had pink eye so I stayed home from school. This is the perfect "sick" for a kid to get. Sick enough for me to take off. Not so sick that we are both miserable. It was a supremely beatiful day that tricked me into thinking spring might be upon us. It was a perfect day.
Since my period had been absent for 41 days, I was thinking maybe...but no...too many times this year my hopes had been dashed and I refused to get excited. When Mason and I went grocery shopping, I tossed a pregnancy test in the basket with the thought that I would again be wasting grocery money. Despite all my doubt, when we got home I didn't even put the milk away before I took the test.
I peeled the wrapper from the test, peed on it the exact amount of time it said and placed the test gently on the floor. Then I left. I left the bathroom, walked to the kitchen, looked at the groceries and immediately returned to the test. And there it was. The plus sign. Bright blue and bold. There were no doubts. I was pregnant at last!
Mason was standing right there and when I freaked out he said, "What is it, Momma?"
I replied, "Oh, momma is just excited about something."
And then he floored me when he asked the next question.
"Does it mean you have a baby in your tummy?"
How did he know that? How? I said yes and then he grinned that big toothy grin of his and hugged my neck. We both just sat there next to the potty, celebrating the conception of another blondeheaded Wilde.
Troy was at work while all this excitement was going down so we had to think of a cute way to tell him...Troy came home around 12:30. I acted as normal as I could and then told him Mason had a surprise for him. (Mason always has surprises for us so Troy almost boredly played along.) Then I covered his eyes and Mason handed him a pair of baby socks. Troy looked confused and asked, "What are those for?"
"For the baby." Mason replied.
"What bab--- Is mommy pregnant?!"
"Yes" I answered.
Then he turned around with that little boy grin of his and said, "Really!?" I nodded and we kissed and hugged and then we hugged Mason and then we all kissed again.
Like I said, it was the perfect day.
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