Bribery.

Most mornings run relatively smoothly around these parts.
This is not me bragging.
The smooth running is only because I have extremely low expectations for morning procedures. Beds do not get made. The only criteria for clothes is that they weren't worn the day before. Well, except jeans. I demand that jeans get 2, maybe even 3 days wear before they dare hit the laundry hamper. Sooo, basically that means Mason and Grant have to find a new shirt. I've even been known to cave in the clean sock department on particularly, uh, rushed days. And hair is combed. sometimes. sort of. maybe. on good days.
So like I said. Not bragging.

But every once in a while, the boys are a little slow moving.
And their slow moving days most often coincide with days I might maybe have forgotten to make copies for the lesson that day or maybe, just maybe, there's a chance that sometimes I might need to, uh, firm up what it is that I will be teaching that day. It happens people. Don't worry, though. Honestly, usually my best lessons are the ones that don't come from my lesson plan book, but from recognizing the collective blank stare in my classroom and realizing I better try that again! And probably in a whole new way.

Anyway, sometimes I just need to get to school on time early to be sufficiently prepared to teach the sponge like minds that walk into my classroom at 7:40.

And on such days I find it sometimes helps to provide an incentive to…motivate the boys to hurry the heck up.

I find that donuts are very good motivators. For mother and sons, actually.

It's remarkable really.


Imagine, if you will, a child, cozy under his covers. Messy bed head hair, sleep in his eyes, one socked foot sticking out from under the covers.
His mother who, having at least smelled coffee by this point, can remember the love she feels for her children, and, well, life in general. A few minutes prior to the coffee smelling, she wasn't sure she even knew what love was anymore.
"Sugar bear muffin pants," she calls. "It's time to rise and shine! Love muffin schnookem berry, it's time to get dressed for school!" These loving pet names are greeted by a grunt of annoyance. Eyes remain closed. Bodies still cozy under covers. And now the one foot even retreats back into the covers.

"Sugarbear…" She says again.

The child rolls over making the sounds of a bear being disturbed from hibernation.

"Muffinberry…" No movement.

"Hmm… if we leave early today, we can get donuts."

Said child is instantly brought to life. It's like a scene from a Disney movie. You know, drawers start magically opening, clean shirts are instantly slid onto now wide awake children, hair is combed with baffling speed. Within 4.3 minutes, they're both dressed, shoes on, backpacks ready, by the door.


I bribe my kids with donuts. I do. It's the kind of mother I am. I'm writing my mother of the year acceptance speech right now. :)