Before i write the following, please know that I am not posting hoping that I get swamped in "you rock" comments. I am not fishing for compliments. I just want to say what's been on my minds the last few weeks.
I think i'm pretty good at this photography thing. I love it so much. I love looking at the images I capture. I love that i keep getting better and better. (For the record, it pains me to say something so conceited...but i am getting better...it'd be weird if i wasn't) And I love that I get to work from my computer while Grant bangs on things at my feet and Mason writes stories one desk over.
And I feel pretty confident in my work. Until I stumble upon a website like this...
Indie Jane.
Now, i'm not totally into her style completely. But her images are pretty stinkin' awesome. They're so clear and bright. Artsy. Personality. Just well taken. Professional.
Clarity, crispness is something I'm struggling to achieve in my pictures. I don't know what I'm doing wrong sometimes. Or I do know, but I can't fix it without some major additions to my current equipment list.
I have a hard time not being the best. I'm a secretly competitive person. I want my pictures, every single one to rock your socks right off. If I fall short of that lofty goal, I am so very disappointed.
I want this photography thing to work. I love it so. I've got to keep getting better. I've got to keep looking at websites like Indie Jane and feel like pooh so I am forced to learn more, shoot more, do more. I have to be encouraged, inspired and motivated by the beautiful work of others...not discouraged.
I want to succeed at this more than anything i've ever done. Maybe that's where the self doubt comes in. It's not about hoping for financial success. I, of course, would love for this to become a profitable, family sustaining venture, but that's not the ultimate goal. So what is?
To feel like i can say with confidence, "i'm a photographer." And then back it up with images like indie Janes. Or Kathryn Krueger. Or Kaoni Norris. Or....
I just need that Sprinkle of Grace to see my dreams come true...
4 comments:
A) You DO have some photos that compete with the likes of those photographers.
B) You will ALWAYS find someone that is better than you, but as you get better, it'll get harder and harder to find.
C) They HAVE that expensive equipment you need.
D) They, too, have some really lame photos they will NOT post on their sites.
I, too, struggle with being competitive or perfectionist or whatever you want to call it that makes me want to be better. I believe the trick is to find a balance between being content and proud in your work, but at the same time, looking for ways to improve. I can't say that I've mastered this concept, but I, too, am working on it.
OK. Reading this was like listening to myself a while back. I wanted and CRAVED the need to have every picture I took be an awesome photo. I felt like a total loser if only one or two pictures were decent on a roll of film. Yes, I said roll of film. (You think it is frustrating now, try having to wait on your film to get developed and depend on the people developing them to do a good job.) After looking at other photographers, I would think that I should just throw away my camera because I would never get that good. What I didn't take into account were 2 things - 1. They have awesome equipment at their fingertips and 2. No one shows off their flawed shots. No one. And everyone has them - lots of them.
Now. You have totally amazed me with your photos. The cripsness and clarity you are looking for will improve as you are able to master the Fstop, lighting conditions, and film speed (Uh, does that apply to you camera?) Anyway. You have come a very long way in a short time, Baby. Not only that, you have taken a leap and dived into what I wish I could do- Be a Photographer. Don't doubt that point. You ARE a photographer.
Well, I'm not a photographer but when I read your post I could still relate. As a mom, I LOVE to occasionally watch either Super Nanny or Nanny 911. I always feel like the best parent after watching how horrible those kids act! But in reality, I know there's so much more that I could and should learn about parenting. So I read and watch things that challenge me to be better.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should sometimes look at some cruddy photography sites too just to build up your confidence! :)
Can I just say that I was totally impressed with our photos?! And everyone that has looked at them has asked me who did them and how can they contact you. You are great at it! And I know several people who have used you since we did ours!
You're awesome!
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