Christmas

When did Christmas get lost in christmas?

I was reading my sister's blog the other day and she was writing about all the things she loves about Christmas and I actually started to cry because I hadn't done any of them. Granted, I cry a lot here lately. I'm in a constant state of delirium, you see. No sleep = tears. But, still, how do I get so busy doing "Christmas" things that I don't enjoy Christmas? I've really tried this year, too, you know?
I've been picky about Christmas parties because I value my time at home so much. (Or I forgot okay? Are you happy? I forgot the woman's christmas party at church. Plumb forgot. I am a horrible, unsocial person right now.)
I've made good lists before I go shopping so I use my time wisely.
I keep reading the books to Mason.
The house is lit up like santa's work shop inside and out.
The presents, what few have actually been wrapped, have bows. Big pretty real-ribbon bows.
I haven't brought work home.
Christmas music plays all the time.
The puzzle is out.

So, here we are. One week till Christmas and all I feel is overwhelmed.
So, here's the list of what I haven't done.
I haven't made any gifts this year. This is really bothering me. Every year I make gifts for people. Something simple, but something homemade and from the heart. Mason does the same. This year it just isn't happening.
I haven't baked. Not one single thing. Not even chocolate covered pretzels.
I haven't, AGAIN, sent out picture christmas cards.
I haven't bought enough or done enough or gone enough.....

But it's all those "haven'ts" that make Christmas not Christmassy! So what do you do?

Quit. Quit it all.
I am going to just enjoy the rest of this week. What doesn't happen won't happen. And Christmas will still be Christmas. A day with family and to celebrate our faith.

I am going to do the things that for whatever reason make me feel like it's christmas because, for some odd reason, these things remind me of Christmases past, not because I should do them, but because I WANT to do them.
I am going to play pac- man and Galactica with Troy for hours, late into the night.
We're going to rake leaves in the freezing cold, at night, and jump in them.
I will bake, but just a few simple things like cinnamon hard candy that fills the house with a smell that is Christmas.
I am going to eat Sausage balls with my family on Christmas morning.
I am going to watch Lord of the Rings. Even if only for half an hour.
I'm going to buy Troy a completely fun and completely pointless gift.
I will listen to Christmas music until I can't stand it.
We're going to play Lord of the Rings Risk even though I get bored within the first ten minutes.
I'm going to work on the Christmas puzzle instead of...because that's what I WANT TO DO, DARN IT!
I'm going to find Mickey's Christmas Carol and watch it. I have to see that scene of the chipmunks fighting in the tree...Is that the same movie?
And I am going to remember why we celebrate this holiday in the first place.

This is my mission statement, if you will.
I AM GOING TO DO WHAT I WANT until the 26th. I am going to enjoy Christmas and my family.

I am.