Because I know you were SOOOO totally stressing for me..

The doctor shoot was fine. They were super nice. Their kids were cute. The pictures won't like win an award or anything, but I don't think i'll get fired...maybe.

But most important - it's done!

Sunday, I'm back to the fun stuff - a one year old and three year old in the art alley. :)

it'll be okay.

I have been asked to do some PR photography for Community Medical Center. Isn't that crazy?! It's very exciting and I'm super duper grateful for the opportunity, but I'm so nervous and terrified. I'm dreading it!

Headshots? Me? The lady did say she wanted non-headshot - headshots...but uh..what does that mean.

My first session is for a wife husband team of heart surgeons who have five children. I have to get pictures of them individually, as a team, wearing scrubs and not, and then with their children and then these things called hobby shots which highlight their "personal" side.

I'm terrified.

1 - they're adults. Like smart adults.
2 - its indoor stuff too. I hate indoor stuff.
3 - I don't 100% know what the PR dept wants.
4 - I just feel very unprofessional all of a sudden.

So I've been stressing about it since I found out but today I had a revelation.

Who cares? I'll do my best. I'll be me.
If the pictures are great, the hospital will call me again.
If they aren't, then I won't have these nerve wracking...nerveracking?... shoots again. I doubt will it end Sprinkle if I'm not successful at Business Photography.

But I still don't wanna!!!

Deep breath. Step away from the ledge. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can..

a relatively predictable routine of hormonal imbalance.

I have one day a month, a rather predictable 5 or 6 days before a certain aunt comes to visit, that I cry. I mean I cry and I cry and I cry. The most minute thing will set me off. The world is ending. We have no money. I'm a bad friend. I'm a lazy mother. I'm an uncaring wife. I am stupid and ugly and weak and dumb and annoying...you get the picture.

Today was that day.

Now, I know that tomorrow or the next day the way I feel right now will be a funny memory as it is every month. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

But in the midst of today, I was in the very depths of despair.

In about two days, I will hate the world. I will yell without cause at almost anyone or anything. I will cuss at hangers that get stuck to clothes. I will hate other drivers for turning too slow. I will scream at the remote control for getting lost. My husband will do no right, and my children will do all wrong.

The next day I will go on my fastest, longest run of the month.

Two days before the crying day and two days after, I could sleep all day - anywhere. I believe I could fall asleep on these days in the middle of a f5 tornado while the world blew away. It's a comatose like sleepy unfazed by coffee consumption by the gallons or sugar intake by the pound.

From the sleeping day till the good run day I will eat everything I see. I will eat pickles from the jar followed by kettle corn followed by vanilla flavored baking chips followed by vanilla flavored baking chips WITH buttered popcorn followed by cheese slices followed by ramen followed by.... I think solely of food. It all sounds divine. I eat. everything.

Somewhere in the midst of the food binge, I have bouts of nausea. At the time I find the nausea to not be at all related to the lovely mixture of highly un-nutritious delicacies with which I have stuffed my body.

So to recap. For a span of a week and a half or so:
I am cranky.
I cry.
I am unimaginably sleepy.
I crave weird food combinations.
I get nauseous.
I have unexplained bouts of energy.

And while I am obviously aware of this predictable routine of hormonal imbalance, every month, without fail, I believe I am pregnant.

Read through that list one more time. Yeah. Makes sense, huh?

Today was the crying day. I have four or so days until I get a verdict.

If you followed the time line accurately you know to stay away from me on Thursday.

being a girl sucks.

a recent project.

In case you weren't aware, money does not fall from trees as of late. I know - it's shocking really.
So, since Sprinkle of Grace has been, um, what's the word? Um, oh, yes, S-L-O-W, lately, I used my spare time to be creative. And I came up with those things.


I'm contemplating opening an etsy store. They would be custom designable - the customer would choose a word, a quote, and a background color and I'd create it, order the professional print and send it their way. They could buy sets or just one...sizes would vary. I'm not really sure...do you think it'd be worth it? I already have all the letters although I still want to find more...

If nothing else, it was so fun making them.

Oh, and the words would all be verbs. Like inspire, not inspirational. Or dream. Not dreams. Is that stupid? Is the whole idea stupid? eh, even if it was...they look cool on my chicken wire bulletin board. :)

believe.

If more stories like this were written, celebrated and heard, maybe we wouldn't be losing faith in the human race. We have our good moments too.

http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=914609

Are you still in?

I posted a capitol 10k post on the finishing the race blog. The link is on the right...
Read it, comment, email, call, text, something me and let me know where you stand with this race that is right around the corner!
Yikes!

a note.

Mason just gave me this note.

Wil yoo ples play basbol if yoo do play basbol with my I wil lech yoo win.

No isn't an option, is it?

They speak for themselves.

batter up.

Mason and I played a little game of tee-ball in the front yard today. And I must say that his ability to keep track of his ghost men, or "the dead guys" as he called them, was quite impressive. He managed to score a lovely 23 points with his team of non-existent team mates. Me? I scored two points. Apparently, my ghost men are much more dead than Mason's.

Gasp! Sputter! cough cough! Deep breath in, then out...

That was me breathing again (in case the "deep breath in, then out" wasn't quite clear enough) after two days, over 48 hours, without internet access.

I felt like I couldn't breathe - trapped in my own thoughts - disconnected from the world - missing a hundred vitally important emails - certain that the blog world was full of life changing posts...

But now I can breathe again.
And blog so...

• hobby lobby has made my valentines day by carrying the very specific type of conversation hearts that I prefer - NOT brachs, very soft, NOT crunchy, small, NOT those nasty big ones, Sweet, NOT tart, and most important - bags filled with primarily pink, yellow and purple, NOT white. I'm very particular about my sweethearts. I have consumed...um...well, a lot.
  
• i love the internet.
  

And really, after finger tapping on the keyboard for a moment, that's it. Sweethearts and an admission of my addiction to the internet is all i got.

the advantage of a new locale...

some really cool settings for really cute pictures! Imagine how cold that water must have been!

so sweet

It's amazing how sweet my babies are when I've been away from them for any length of time. Last night when I got home (after a 7, yes 7 hour stay at dfw), I went into their rooms and, oh, how sweet they were. And how big! They both grew exponentially while I was gone I am sure. And then this morning, their little voices were precious. Perfect. Oh, I just have been squeezing them all morning.

Mason is home sick from school today for the first time this school year because he finally got that cold Grant and I had. He's handling it much better than I did. Either he's super tough, I'm super wimpy, or he's just got a slight version of the horrible cold I had. I'm super wimpy, I'm guessing.

The Houston trip went well - the couple was sweet, the weather was perfect, and I didn't lose my camera or erase the memory card on accident or any of the other nightmares I was afraid to see turn into reality. The biggest mishap was when i totally busted it in a huge mud puddle - I mean flat on my back right in the mud. But the camera was spared so just my pride was injured.

And the extended layover in DFW got me a flight voucher so even that wasn't so bad.

So, I'm home and now have hundreds and hundreds of pictures to go through. And after my first glance through them, I don't think I'll have to mail them their check back with a note of "sorry I stink at picture taking" apology. Thank goodness. :)

The title of this post no longer goes...sorry. :)

jet-setter, I am!

Tomorrow morning at 7:30 am I'll be on a flight to Houston! All by my lonesome. (but a little "lonesome" time isn't always terrible for a mommy, right?)
I have a shoot for a super sweet couple whom I've never met, but just have a gut feeling, I'm gonna really like them. I just hope they really, i mean, really, like me! Because, man, when someone flies you to houston to do their pictures, well, you better not disappoint! yikes! But I'm excited and can't wait. I'll miss my boys, but they probably wont miss me, because they'll be having a blast with Aunt Bekah for two days.

Thank you all so much for the amazing response to the website! I'm so glad that it was so liked! It took me like ten million years to choose pictures, and upload things, and find music and decide on colors and...it was tough. But so worth it! There will be additions and changes, but I just wanted to get it out there! I still can't believe that it's working - you know? I feel like...you know all those quotes about dreams? I get them now. I just feel so out-of-this-world blessed to be doing this and i appreciate so much all the support you have all given me. :)

Now, I have to go stalk some other photographers' sites and get some new ideas for this engagement session this weekend. Failure is not an option on this one. double yikes!

Check it out!

So, remember that sprinkle thing i was working on?

Here it is:

The new (and much improved) Sprinkle of Grace Photography Site.

Enjoy!

And let me know what you think! :)

bullets.

• i'm better. Praise Jesus. Grant got it too. He's now better too. Double praises. :)
  
• I'm working on something SUPER exciting for Sprinkle of Grace. I can't wait to show you, but you'll just have to wait. Ha!
• I haven't run in a week and a half. Ugh.
  
• I can't think of anything to say. What's wrong with me?
  
• Uh.
• Hmmm?
• um...mmm....uh..
• OH MY GOD! the fever drained me of all my words!!! What should I do??? HELP!
• seriously. Nothing.