This will be the last race related post for a while, I promise

Did you know that it's only 5.6 miles from my house to the church.
So, I could run from my house to the church and still not run as far as a 10k.
Wow.

I've started another blog (which brings my grand total to like five including Sprinkle's) to chronicle my journey to the 10k. Obviously, this will bore you to tears, so I expect very few readers and only very sparse, if any, comments, but it's there, on the sidebar if you're ever bored...really bored. really really really, on bedrest with no tv or children and you don't have any friends bored. But there it is.

A starting point

So, I mentioned earlier that endurance wasn't my thing.
Here's proof: I've never run an entire mile without stopping at least once to walk.

Until tonight.

9:39 first mile.
10: 21 Second mile.
Two miles in 20 minutes.

I know that's not great, but it's a starting point.
And it felt good. I only walked a short little bit during the second mile. When I stopped, I could only imagine how red my face was. Still is probably.

9:39.
That's my first official time to beat. I just have to shave off about 1 1/2 minutes to be equal with what my 50 year old dad did.
But I can do it.

So far, I'm likin' this running thing. : )

Must See movies

My family has a movie thing going around on their blog -just some of your favorite must see movies. I have slightly avoided the topic because there are so many movies I can say, with eyes wide and sincerity dripping from every word, that I "LOVE THAT MOVIE!" that my list might border on and and then crossover into ridiculous. But, regardless, here you go:

• A League of Their Own - quite possibly one of my favorites of all time. I love Tom Hanks in that movie and I love the era. There's a scene where Madonna's character swing dances in a bar - always wanted to do that.
• Big - Again Tom Hanks. Funny. Great story. The piano scene is great. It's just great.
• The pursuit of Happyness - cried like a baby from the very get go. Wow. Great movie. I love the idea behind the word pursuit. We don't have the right to happiness, but we all have the right to PURSUE it.
• Toy Story - aw, come on. It's just the best. Did you know they're making a third? Uh-huh. Absolutely cannot wait.
• Saving Private Ryan - not one to watch again and again, but this movie definitely...i don't know what the word is. Not inspire, not change, bigger than moved...It made me realize. Not fully, but helped me realize what sacrifice is.
• The Notebook. I mean come on. You're not a girl if this isn't on your list.
• The Sandlot - seriously one of the best movies ever of all time. I love the vacuum cleaner part and every time I hear the song, "this magic moment" i think of the pool kiss. And I used to have the biggest crush on Benny! The best movie ever. (i've said that a lot...hmmm)
• Sleepless in Seattle - this is one of those can't-change-the-channel movies when it comes on tv. I just get sucked in.
• The Parent Trap - The old version. I don't know why, but I love that movie! I used to be terrified somebody would cut off the back of my dress when I was kid because of that movie.
• Gone with the Wind - it's gotta be on the list. Scarlett, Rhett, "frankly my dear..."
• Return to Me - Oh, such a good one. You cry, you laugh, you cry some more...you laugh even harder. Must see that one.
• All the Indiana Jones - There's no way they can't be on the list. They're over the top, unbelievable, classic, and Harrison Ford.

I will never stop. This is crazy. I just love way too many movies!!!!!

• The Polar Express - only at christmas. The music makes me cry. The story is touching.
• Apollo13 - Another can't-change-the-channel movie. I've watched who knows how many times. I love space movies.
• Jurassic Park - what can I say? I love it. It's scary and exciting and beautiful and funny and I wish it existed.
• An American President - i think that's what it is called. It's got annette benning. The president of the US falls in love with her. It's great.
• Sabrina - old and new version.
• Rat Race - I know. It's horrifically stupid and just awful, but I laughed until I hurt watching that movie. I mean, like sore stomach muscles laughed. Laughing now thinking about it. But please don't go run out and rent it because of me. You'll think I'm stupid.
• National Treasure - Nicolas cage, history, american landmarks, and treasure - what more do you need?
• You've Got mail. - just simply divine. Watched it a million times. I love it.

Okay, I have to stop. Really. This is crazy. One comment before going. Like half of my movies had tom hanks. I love him! he's just so versa - FORREST GUMP! Good grief. That's one of my all time favorites and I almost forgot it. Geez. Forrest gump. Although it did kind of ruin my name. I can't tell you how many times I was hit on with some line from that movie. "We're like peas and carrots Jennay." Yeah. that's original.

SO there's a thin sampling of my favorite movies. Please share yours if you have a spare moment. Clearly, I need a few more to add to my list.

And Now...

...the cake is done and I'm consuming a rather oversized hunk of it smothered in fresh strawberries and cool whip. (to be clear the cake is smothered in strawberries and cool whip - not me. )
grant's napping.
daddy's napping.
Mason's watching Little Bear.
And I'm blogging.

All is right with the world.

A smorgasborg of somethings

• I went to the grocery store today and I have to say groceries are going up and up and up...and, as someone who just recently resigned from her job, that's not a comforting realization.
• I just made that cake that many of you love -the falling down cake with the strawberries and whipped topping. Um, after consuming about half the batter, it's now baking in the oven. I am in painful anticipation for the oven timer to ding.
• I just looked at the isd website and I saw the 6th, 7th or 8th grade english teacher for GMS posting. I already hate who will be me. Now, that's a cynical thing to say, but I do. What if she/he's really good and no one even remembers me? : (
• I cannot tell you how many people comment on grant's cuteness when I take him out. It's ridiculous. But, i mean, look at him. It's only to be expected. : )
• I've already been back from Vegas a week. How...?!
• I've run three days in a row. Today I hurt when I got back. I've got a two mile path that i do. I will not be posting times anytime soon. But three days - that's good, right?
• back to the groceries - did you know that a one pound block of cheddar cheese was only 6 bucks about 6 months ago? Now its 7. 48. That's ridiculous.
• You'll be impressed by this - my menu for the week includes things such as Hawaiian grilled pork chops, slow cooked beef stroganoff, zucchini and squash kabobs, chicken Caesar pasta salad....Yes, i know, those things may sound simple to those of you more advanced in your homemaking endeavors, but for me, that's impressive. I'm just coming to realize that cooking is not something I just love to do...baking, that's different. But cooking, it's just not my thing...yet! But I'll get better. And I'll love it. We won't have money to afford groceries, but I can always make a mean grilled cheese! Wait! Cheese is too expensive...crud, we're gonna starve.
• My cake's STILL not done. Ay yay yay. I need some cake!
• I'm sitting here watching grant army crawl across the floor and I just had this vision of him at 15 months and the Christmas tree. That's gonna be soooo fun... : )
• Okay, I suppose that's enough rambling.

And he's 9 months old

He was born yesterday, I swear! I don't see how this happened.
He has 5, almost six teeth.
He eats anything all the time, anywhere, anyway.
And by anything that does include pieces of paper, grass, pennies, just about anything that he can get in his chubby little hands.
He has mastered the army crawl, but hasn't quite mastered the real thing.
He blabbers a lot.
He drools a lot.
He loves everybody.
He giggles and laughs all the time.
He naps twice a day and goes to bed at 7:30 and sleeps the night through.
He's adorably perfect.
I don't know how much he weighs because we missed his nine month check up, but he's definitely in the ballpark of 22 pounds.
We call him g-man and grantius.
He starts my day with a smile. A big one.

The Race, part two

This won't make you cry. : )

I have run twice now. Yes, I know. My dedication is astonishing. But I have run twice now, at about 7:40 and for about 25 minutes. Now, to be clear, when i say I have run you must understand that I jogged and that I walked. Endurance has never been a strength of mine. I'm working on it.

It feels good...at first. The first 15 minutes I'm feeling great and then the heat kicks in and my stomach starts cramping and my legs get tired and I think, "i have to do THIS for 58 minutes!" But it's only day two.

I can do this. My fear is not so much that I will just voluntarily give up, but that life's circumstances will keep me from training. Like Troy's work schedule or weather or getting a cold or a sick child or....fill in the blank.

But I will persevere!!! I will.
Day one - check.
Day two - check.

PS - did I mention that fridays will be my rest days? : ) Just kidding...

He's going to Kindergarten.

How is that possible? Isn't he only two and watches Elmo on repeat? Isn't he only 18 months and calls aunt bekah "bepah?" Isn't he only three and I am terrified because he's stuttering? Isn't he 8 months old and learning to crawl?

No, he's five. And going to elementary school.

How does that happen? I blinked too much.

I'm not gonna blink anymore. Ever again.

the race

I'm scared to publish this because then you people will know about it and when/if I fail miserably at this completely out of nowhere overly ambitious goal all of you will know. But for that very reason, I feel I should share it. So here I go.

My dad was a runner for as long as he was able to be a runner. He didn't always run, but in the last few years before his health started to fail, I remember that he would get home from work, relax a bit, put on his jogging gear and then he'd be off. He had small spray painted markers on our country roads so he knew how far he had run at certain points. He trained enough to run in the Capital 10,000 run in Austin. I think he ran it three times, but I only have found evidence of twice.

He ran it when he was 49 and 50. His times for this 10k (6.2miles) were 58:13 and 56:50. I know this because this weekend when I was at home I leafed through his running journal and inside that running journal were his numbers that he wore in the race. On them were his final times. On the back, he also wrote each mile's time. He ran several miles in under 8 minutes.

Inside his journal were his daily records of his runs - where he ran, how far, how fast, how he felt, what the weather was like. This journal is one of the few written things I have from my dad. When I go home I often flip through it hoping I will find some new writing, some piece of him that I missed the other hundred times I flipped through the pages. I never do, of course. It's the same every time, "72 and overcast, hard run, still sore from yesterday...had a good run today, good time for mile 2...bad day at work, felt good to run..." In those little snippets of writing, I see my dad a little differently. He died at a time in my life when I was still very self-involved, as most teenagers are. I didn't ever think about dad having bad days or dad having a goal of running a 10k in less than an hour or maybe someday a marathon. I mean, I knew he liked to run, but thought it was just a hobby. Now I realize that maybe it was his escape, him achieving something. My dad's dream. I wish I had taken more time to care about it then...

The New Year's after he died, my sister was video taping everyone, asking what they wanted their resolutions to be. I, with big curly jenny hair and a cheesy, yet sincere, grin, said, "I'd like to run the capital 10K for dad." I never did. I didn't say it then, on camera, because I would have cried and there had been enough crying that holiday season, but I wanted to say that I had wanted to do it with him someday. But that opportunity was gone. And still is.

But, I can run it now. I can run the very race he ran. Because I said I was going to do it. And because I think in some small tiny way, I'll understand a little bit more the man I only knew as a daughter. The man I never knew as someone who had felt the sting of failure, the annoyance of a bad day, or the disappointment of crushed dreams. Or the man who, at long last, felt the sweet personal victory of crossing the finish line.

On the way out of town, I stopped at his grave. I never do that. Dad isn't there. He's never been there. From the moment he was laid to rest there, I have never felt the need to go and visit that site because he's in heaven. His grave is just a place. But I stopped because...I don't know why. I just did. And I read his epitaph - "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 timothy 4:7. There isn't a better verse for him. Or a better thing to hope one day can be said about you.

So there you have it. The Capital 10K is in austin on March 29, 2009. That's nine months from Sunday. I want to run it. I am going to run it. And I want to beat his time. Because he would have wanted me to beat his time.

So, now I just have to figure out how. I think I might add a little training side bar thing to keep a record of best times or distances or something. Who knows. But I'm going to do this. for me. for dad. and because I said I would.

A few more words on Vegas

It was a fun fast trip! Getting there was a little rough because my flight was cancelled, not delayed, cancelled and I was told at 2pm on Tuesday the earliest guaranteed flight i could get to vegas would be on WEDNESDAY at 6PM! I was so bummed, but fortunately I got on the first standby flight out to vegas only arriving about four hours late, not a day and a half late.

Traveling alone was great. I meandered through all the bookstores and magazine stands. Drank my first of about three million cups of starbucks guilt free, ate at TGIF's without deliberating over the decision, and listened to my ipod until i was sick of all my songs. It was heavenly!

We really didn't do a whole lot in vegas. I mean, we did, but when I sit down to write about it, I can't really pinpoint what all we did.
We lazed around the pool.
we gambled a bit, (I lost on slots but troy won in poker).
we saw Shannon Elizabeth playing in the World Series of Poker.
we went to Studio 54 one night and I, well, let's just say, Jenny loosened up a bit. ; )
And we went to see a cirque de soleil(i don't want to look up that spelling so don't correct me..i know it's wrong) show, the one called O. It was beyond amazing. Probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. Ever. I would love to see more of those shows.
We shopped, and by we, i mean the girls and I shopped.
I marvelled at all the different colored m and m's at M and M world.
We saw the Sirens show at Treasure Island and the fountains at the bellagio.
I walked until my feet ached several times.
And I stayed up till daylight on my last day there.
And I seriously drank more starbucks coffee than I ever had in my life.

It was fun. Exhausting, but fun. When I got home on Friday, I was dead tired so I stayed home instead of driving to MF to get the boys. On saturday morning I drove from San Angelo to San Antonio for a Family Reunion Photo shoot. I stayed there until about 7:30, then drove to Leander to my own family reunion where I was reunited with my boys. I cannot even tell you how tired i was by this point. I called almost everyone I knew on my drives to keep me awake. Then Sunday was spent hanging out with family which was great fun and then monday was a drive to mom's in MF and then finally today, was my final drive back here where I will stay for a while. I don't want to get in the car ever again...or pack ever again. Or unpack for that matter.

But I'm home. I have no good pictures. well, I have one of me in front of the Studio 54 sign. But that's it. My camera is just too big to take places all the time. I need to invest in a small lightweight alternative one for trips and stuff.

So, I'm back. My tan is fading and I am sad. I need to go to the pool, so don't leave me out of any playdates!

A few words on Vegas

loud
cold
hot
decadent
fast
hot
crazy
bright
bold
daring
sexy
big
bigger
biggest
hot
sinful
over-the-top
cool
risky
fun
big
different
crazy
hot

and that's all your gettin' because what happens in vegas... ; )

And i'm off!

Las Vegas here I come!

My flight leaves in less than two hours and then I will be gone for a bit. I am so excited! I must say that one of the things I am most excited about, and this will surprise some of you, is that I am traveling alone. Troy's flights were different so he's already gone. So today I am flying without children and without Troy. I can read, listen to my ipod, eat where I want, windowshop in whatever places I want...I will have no one to worry about but ME! I am pretty excited.

I do miss my boys already though. It's just so sad seeing their little empty beds this morning. I really don't know if I'll make it this long without them! But they're with gema and pop pop so they're having a blast, no doubt.

Okay, I have to load up and hit the road!

Catch ya laters gators!

I wasn't kidding.

This is me catching turtles! We are now the proud and excited owners of two tiny little reptiles. I am now Mason's hero. I didn't even have to get in the water. Bummer! And there are a few pictures of me and mr. grant below. A rare find - a picture of ME with one of the boys. Gotta love gema and her camera!

The Turtle Pond

When I was younger, and by younger, I wish I could say 7 or 8, but I really mean about 13-14ish, I was insanely obsessed with turtles and that obsession led to me spending countless hours beside an unowned pond that I named, The Turtle Pond. Original. I know.

It was a pretty little thing, formed of granite with a few rocks scattered here and there on the edges, a little tree on one end, and just enough depth to house an assortment of turtles. So, in the spring and summer there I would sit, alone sometimes, with friends occasionally, but most often with younger siblings, and we would wait.
and wait.
and wait.
for a turtle head to appear at the water's surface.
And when one did appear, a silent motion would get the attention of other turtle hunters present and we would creep towards the waters edge, nets in tow, and at the last possible moment, the person closest to the unsuspecting reptile would all but dive into the water, net flailing into the water in hopes that when the net was dragged back up from beneath the surface of the murky pond, a turtle would be mixed in with all the muck.
We were rarely successful.
But oh, it was fun trying.
We caught quite a few turtles that were brought home to be put in a stock tank turned gigantic turtle aquarium.

As I got older, the turtle pond lost its appeal in some ways or perhaps I felt that it should lose its appeal because how many teenage girls jump into knee deep muck to drag out a slimy green reptile? It wasn't cool. So the pond was visited less and less until one day the faded for sale sign that had been hopelessly there for years, was gone and construction of a new house began.
It was the official end of my turtle pond days.

But then Pop Pop built a pond. In the pasture behind my parent's home, he built a pond, lined it, placed rocks carefully around the edges that he brought here from our Fredericksburg ranch, and planted sod around the edges.

And the turtles have made it their new home.

They're tiny. They're cute. They're absolutely the best thing I have seen this summer. I assure you that I will not be returning to San Angelo without a pair of them. I will, I will catch one if I have to jump right into that pond like the old days. I don't have boys to act girly for anymore so I can. In fact, I have one boy, Mason who would love to see me be anything BUT girly.

So, tonight, my friends, I am going to be 13 again and I am going to wait in silence, net ready, until i once again see a little turtle head poking out of the pond water and then i will, without hesitation, do whatever it takes to get me a turtle. The only difference between then and now, well, I guess there's two - my companion will be my son. And the pond won't be one I've trespassed onto. It's right in my our back yard.

Life's good. : )
Thanks Pop Pop for our very own turtle pond.

(on a side note, pop pop does not want the turtle pond to be a turtle pond. It's for fish. Fish are eaten by turtles, but see, what pop pop doesn't know, Turtles are way more fun than fish. So, I bet they're gonna stay...)

Oh my Gosh!

I haven't posted since Monday!

How did that happen?

Here's what little you missed:
I had a sad little exit interview that actually evoked some sentimental tears as I OFFICIALLY signed off on my career as a teacher. I won't go into any more detail as no doubt you are sick of my mixed emotions on this decision. "Yay! sob! Yay! Sob!...." Good grief.

Two photo shoots. One great. One...not so great. Two year olds are tough.

A play date - thanks, A!

Tanning. I am TAN! Yay! Now, for those of you concerned about my health, let me assure you. I have never tanned in a bed in my life until these last two weeks and after my trip to vegas is done, I probably won't ever again...although, I have to say not being the absolute whitest girl in the world is tempting enough to disregard all worries of aging and little things like cancer...But i'll stop. I will.

I can't find a movie that will forever be owned by Glenn Middle School. Darn!

And somewhere in between those few things I've slept late, watched tv, lazed around and basically just enjoyed the glory that is summer!

Um, heaven has been found right here on earth.

There's this store called Hastings.
Go in.
Turn to your left.
When you smell coffee beans and you see a twenty something college kid standing at a register say these three words, "Large Mocha Masterpiece."
Wait about five minutes.
When the perfect cup with the little domed lid is handed to you, realize that your life is about to change. Carefully open the straw. Insert into said domed lid, take a deep breath and then sip.

Angels will sing. The cup will glow. A big smile will form on your face.

Your life will be changed. You will have a taste of heaven.

FYI: To enjoy said heaven, you might consider opening a personal loan as it will cost you.

A Change of Heart...

So, I tried the number 1 at chick fil a with a lemonade.

I need to make a retraction of my previous statements.

Yummilicious.

I was wrong, you were right.

Great. Now, I have another fast food chain addiction. Just great!

Summer Loves

A few reasons why I love summer:

• watermelon - I could live on watermelon. I love the way it drips, crunches and smells. I adore that first bite right out of the center of a watermelon. Watermelon is grown in heaven, I'm sure of it.
• the smell of sunscreen - I, are you ready for this confession, actually tear up, just a tad, the first time I smell sunscreen in the summer. Summer is encased in those sunscreen bottles.
• swimming pools - the way they smell is the best. I mean, I know it's chlorine, but it's just sooo summer!
• play dates with friends where we talk about kids and life and husbands and problems and we realize we're not alone in this crazy world of motherhood.
• no school. nuff said.
• It's HOT. I love HOT. I hate cold. hate it. I mean, on christmas day, it's okay. But I'd take hot over cold any day.
• Shave Ice. Shave Ice!!! I get so excited when I see the open sign on the shave ice hut. Favorite flavor - pina colada...no, bahama mama...no, margarita...no! I don't know. All of em. Mixed together so it looks like a rainbow!
• Lazy days
• Camping and the way food, all food, tastes soooo good when you're camping. The smell of the tent and the way it flaps in the breeze. The crickets and the way every one looks around a campfire or under a lantern.
• campfires, crackling wood and smores. Smores! That should have been a bullet all on it's own. Can you believe when I was a kid I didn't like smores!? What was wrong with me? Now I use my gas stove to roast marshmallows so we can have smores any ol time!
• Long Days that are still bright and going strong at 9pm
• Thunderstorms - the big lightning, the gusty winds, the roar of the thunder. The unimaginable still heat leading up to them.
• floating the river with my big crazy family
• Sprinklers that make you feel like a kid again when you run through them
• the glorious sound of lawnmowers and the following smell of freshly cut grass
• sleeping in
• Sandboxes and brightly colored sandbox toys that sift and pour and build
• Popsicles that leave sticky drips down your chin
• Hamburgers grilled to perfection
• strawberries with cool whip on my grandmother's falling down cake. Good gosh. YUM!!!
• suntans and the little white hineys they leave on your kiddos.
• shorts - they take up less room in the washer!
• flip flops!!! I would wear flip flops every day of the year if I could. I adore them. I have to peel myself away from Old Navy's flip flops...
• lightning bugs - they're just so from-your-childhood, you know? Seeing them twinkle in the night has to take years off of you. I just know it.
• Ice Cold Coke. It is the real thing. It's just better in the summer.
• Big Blockbuster movies. I love the movies and I love the movies even more when there are great ones coming out.
• The fourth of July - it's the best! Barbecue and fireworks, friends, watermelon, water, sun, family...it's like every great thing about summer all at one time! And then at some point you hear that old version of america the beautiful. Is it the one by louis armstrong? I don't know but it's my favorite.
• slip n slides! Now, if you haven't been on a slip n slide in a while, I highly suggest you bust one out and go for it. It's gotta shave off a few years too.

Summer, it's just the best!!!

(that was way way way longer than I thought it'd be.)

Chicks vs. Cows

I know some of you are huge fans of Chick-fil-a. I'm not so much.

I got a coupon the other day for a free cool wrap and dr. pepper. No strings attached. So, I went to chick-fil-a today for maybe the second time in my life.

I ordered the spicy chicken coolwrap because that's what I have heard Kylah order like a million times.

They gave me a caesar one. I didn't realize this until I was home. It was not very yummy. I was very sad.

I just wasn't that impressed.

I thought this would be a turning point in my life - a turning towards chicks. But nope. I guess I'm just a burger girl. Sorry cows.

Little Thoughts from my Big Brain

I don't have a big brain. I just needed a B word to fit the pattern of alliteration in that title. I should have used busy, but that would have been a lie too at 7:45 am.

All of my boys are asleep, and so I have chosen to take this time to update you on some randomness from my mind.

Did you know that lightscribe CD's are amazing? I can now burn, directly to the cd, images from my computer along with text and an assortment of other things. I just made my first one yesterday and it's the coolest thing ever. The pictures come out black and white, but they're too cool. They look much more professional.

Mason is getting some teenager-esque attitudes here lately. He's getting too clever for his own good. yesterday I was attempting to put away my classroom when I paused to get on the computer for a second. He looks around the still messy room, looks at me and goes, "Um, mom. the room? You're soooo not done." with all this attitude. It's gonna be a fun ride getting this one to adulthood.

I'm tanning. I know. It's terribly unhealthy, but I am going to vegas on the 17th and I have this dress, this kinda short dress, that I have to look good in. it's brown. You have to be tan in brown. You have to be. So, I tan. Four days in, I am still annoyingly white.

I have been presented with an amazing photography opportunity. I don't want to say too much about it but I am very excited! It's not a wedding...

Um, what else, Oh, this is a ridiculous thing to post about but yesterday I bought new dusting polish (I know - exciting stuff here!) and it came with this free little dusting wand thing. Wow. Dusting is so much more fun with a puffy little wand. But then it's not hard to make dusting more fun, because it was absolutely no fun before. Wow. That was earth shattering news there.

Children are awake. coffee beckons. the day begins.

(I can't believe i ended on the dusting comment. I think this was truly the most boring post ever.)

For seph...

At Christal's shower a few, (ahem...several) weeks ago, I took some quick shots of Ellie in her sweet little summery dress. Seph asked me if I could give them to her if they were any good. Um, yeah, fast forward about three weeks and you're finally seeing the best ones, sarah. I'll get you a CD. I was going to email them to you but after literally like thirty minutes of waiting for the pictures to attach, I gave up. Hence the post. So, here's your sweet little e.claire. Sorry for taking so long!

If you're bored...

I posted some new maternity pics on sprinkle. My favorite is the one of the mommy to be under a sign that says, "now showing". super cute. : )

Sweet Pre -K Love

In mason's class there is, oh, was, the sweetest little girl named Bree. I would steal her if I could. Some of the things mason has said about her include:

Bree is the smartest girl in class. She knows how to do the calendar sooooo good!
Bree is the best line leader. She never goes too fast and she always has bubbles in her cheeks.
Bree's pretty.
I want to know my letters like Bree...

( On a side note - it thrills me to no end that at age five these are the things he finds appealing in a girl...if we can just stay that way.)

So, on Saturday, he's going through his last pile of random coloring pages and construction paper paraphanalia (there's a word I'll be using spellcheck for) and he hands me this little white paper. On it is a typical preschoolish drawing of a girl with pigtails.

Then mason says,
"This is Bree. She drew a picture for me and I drew a picture for her. That way we can remember each other."

Is that not the sweetest thing ever?

First day of summer fun!

Today we, my boys and I, baked cookies, played on the slip n slide, watched cartoons for far too long, played dominoes and marbles, ate three meals (or at least what was meant to be a meal) together, and i cleaned...well...i washed dishes. I'm gonna ease into some of the homemaking skills. I don't want my body to go through complete shock.

It was such a fun day!!!

On another unrelated note, Grant is getting in like a hundred teeth. yes, he is turning into a shark. No, seriously, he is getting in 4-5 teeth on the top, and the first one to break through is his canine. So he looks like a vampire with one tooth. Cute little guy.

Oh, and he gets on all fours now and rocks like he just wants to crawl so bad and can't. It's so cute. He also has discovered how to stick out his tongue. He doesn't like do it on command or anything, but he just sticks it out all the time.

It's for real.

I actually turned in my letter of resignation. That's official stuff right there. There's no turning back.

And the best part, I am completely confident in that decision. Completely. Obviously, given the contents of recent posts, I am a little sad about leaving, but I know I am headed in the right direction.

It's kind of surreal really. Some realizations I've had this week include:

Next year the only school supplies I'll be buying will be for my own child.
On August 11th when other teachers are going back to work, I won't.
I won't have a classroom to set up.
I am going to miss desperately the halls of GMS and seeing a staff every day that, despite bad days and annoying parents and rowdy kids, laughed and had fun together.
I am a good teacher. Mr. Waters parting words to me included, among many other things, that I shouldn't sell myself short in any area of my life. I'm the one of the best he's ever seen and it would be an injustice if I didn't return to the classroom.
I am a wife and a mom now. That's it. A wife and a mom. (a little bit photographer/tutor there too) That's all I've ever wanted to be. A dream realized.

There's this book I have called The Art of the Daydream. It was a gift from a person who believes in me and, in that action, challenges me. I never really thought of myself as much of a daydreamer until recently. I guess in a lot of ways I've been afraid to dream. Because dreaming can often lead to painful disappointment. It's easier to live in partial contentment wondering what if than to dream the impossible and never see it realized. I now know that's stupid. Dreams, even the ones broken, the ones that can never really be are worth pondering, worth imagining, worth the time. And if I can actually daydream into reality something from my mind, then I am that much closer to my truest life.

One of the quotes in the book says, "Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your prophecy of what you shall at last unveil." - James Lane Allen

I've dreamed my whole life of being the person I am in this moment. I am me. Jenny - wife, mom, friend, daughter, teacher (once a teacher, always a teacher), dreamer.

I don't know what the next day holds. I don't know how this page turner will play out. But I do know that page one of this new chapter begins, "At last, I am exactly where I have always wanted to be..."